As she lay on the bed with the pillow twisted in between her arm and head, she could hear his annoyance even with a wall in between. She feels the knot in her chest tighten up, making her feel miserable and scared. Scared of driving him away. What if he let go off her?
Hearing the knock on the door, she opens to let him in. He settles on the couch and says no word. She reads his tired face. She feels buried under guilt. Walking up to him, she gets comfortable beside him.
Him - It would be better if you talk to me rather than closing off like this
Her - Don’t hate me. And with that she rests her head on him.
Him - Mad at you, yes. But hate you, never.
She draws in deep breath with a relief and her eyes begin to close.
Her - You smell so good.
With a smile of his own, Him - Go off to sleep, I will smell the same when you wake up.
She holds on to him tight, Her - Stay. Please.
A worry flickers on his face, Him - Honey! You don’t ever have to say please for me to stay. You will always find me here.
Her - Pinky promise?
Him - Pinky promise!
She wakes up to find him beside her. A beam of smile reflects from her heart.
Her - You stayed
He puts aside the coffee mug and turns his attention to this over thinking, way too emotional and overly excited girl who is completely clueless that she now has his heart.
Him - I always will.
She smiles and closes her eyes again.
Him - Wake up!
Her - No.
Him - Aren’t you hungry?
With her eyes half closed, she winks; Her - Only if you are on the menu.
She loves his laughter. He makes her feel alive. He fills her up with something other than grief. He has become her happy escape, away from her trouble thoughts.
She doesn’t want to close off from him. But she can’t help it. It’s her heart. It has unconsciously build up a shield to not let expectations wither it again. The fear that one day he might wake up and realise that she isn’t the one for him, weighs her down. What then? He will become stranger just like him. The him, she had once loved so much. After all she is completely replaceable.