I feel that i only let people down,
Or sometimes that they don't want me around.
I feel like they are happier when i am not there,
So normally i just sit quietly and breath in the air.
I am quiet and arkward, you feel that, i know,
So i wish i could change, so that would not show.
I feel like you perfer to not be around me,
I feel it, but please if i'm wrong let me see.
You all talk to me, and i love that you do,
And i hope someday it will be easy for me to.
But with all my struggles and doubt inside,
Its really hard for me not to sink or hide.
You talk to others as if it weren't hard,
But when i try i feel anxieus and onguard.
When you talk to others so much, then me not so often,
I feel ashamed and like i am forgotten.
I thought you'd know me well enough to see,
That just because im quiet, doesn't mean i want to flee.
I want to be able to talk with my friends,
To get to know them, have fun and start to amend.
But of cause i can't do that i'm stuck in my head,
Where nothing is safe, i'm torn and lies spread.
I can't keep it quiet, not for a second,
Even if i tried i couldn't stop it i reckon.
I feel alone when you don't try and i do,
As if i weren't any part of your crew.
I say to myself when you let me down,
I thought i were used to this, so why give a frown.
I've seen what friends do and what they do not,
But i can't relate i fear our connections alot.
I build up walls because of what i feel,
Hoping to myself, someone would try to break the seal.
But when no one comes to knock down my walls,
I worry no one cares if i raise or if i fall.
So please let me know you care to,
For i feel like our friendship means nothing to you.
Yes i feel jealous when you all talk to other girls,
But i am here too, give talking to me a whirl.
Now i know that sound stupid and i hate how it sounds selfish,
But try feeling abandoned and forgotten, you wish.
I've known them for years, eaten lunch and hung out,
But even after that they exclude me, thats when i want to shout.
Sometimes i tell myself that thats not a great way to think,
But sometimes i can't help it and deeped down i sink.
Now please dont judge me i'm not despirate and i don't cling,
I just want to feel like i actually mean something.
They mean so much to me and i love them to death,
But i feel they don't care about me every time i take a breath.
Author Notes: Just so you know I have an amazing group of friends, this was just a poem I wrote of just some things I feel sometimes. thank you for reading and any sort of comment is welcome.