Time again and after, you will come to realise that our strongest foe is trust. If history is to be of any lesson, learn this - Empires fall, kings get defeated only because someone in the inner circle has exploited the trust and sold out. We are to fear most the ones in whom we place our trust.
We are human. For us, forever is a myth. And what little time we have; we look for comfort, security and peace. Just like what they say about - heavy is the head which wears the crown, similar goes for - heavy is the heart which keeps secrets. Our human folly is that we tend to look for people with whom we can get in bed with our naked thoughts and emotions without feari of being ratted out. And this goes unconditionally for our blood ties.
The deepest weakness of our blood ties is that even when they make you angry beyond imagination, drink on your love to manipulate your actions, you can’t unlove them. And that makes you vulnerable. Whatever is said about survival of the fittest is really true. You can survive the world around you along with the one of your blood ties, only when you learn to trust no one with Your darkest and most purest secret. Because if you do, you sure as heck will leave a loose end running to grab you by your throat anytime.
But the thing is unless we don’t trust completely, love will not find us and peace will always be alluding. So the Qs becomes - how do we find love and happiness if we are to never trust any soul with our whole heart?
I haven’t figured that out yet. What gave me run down of these thoughts was my restlessness today, from way before dawn. As my head lay rested on the pillow of my mother, my heart felt so at unease. Unease because I realised that she was the last person to whom I could open my heart to without fear of being manipulated.
I have this tendency to repeat the same action fully aware of it’s daming effect on my mental health and my pursuit of being the will full person. I let my emotions rule me, against my judgement, past week. And when weekend came to an end, I didn’t feel happy which made me decipher that although a heart with secrets is heavy, a heart with restlessness is heavier.
What I’m trying to say is that trust is fragile business. We crave happiness and in order to find that, we must place our trust somewhere or in someone. So foremost place your trust in yourself. Trust yourself enough to know how much of your trust you can keep in the wind because THAT TOO MUCH CAN HURT SO MUCH.
Author Notes: Listen to that little voice in your head when it keeps reminding you to stop, stop with the self inflicted trauma by placing too much of anything anywhere or in anyone.
You deserve peace and happiness and you must not let anyone stand in between of that even if it means saving yourself from You.
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India • 31 years old