IN MEMORY OF MY BROTHERS AND SISTERS
HARD and triggering. That’s the stress I have to face in almost a year. Even though it will go to end, I’m still struggling to live in this depressing life of a student.
I had a big circle of friends. I miss them, really. We are all 19, and we study in the same college. But time matters a lot. Four of them left the circle, and now, the memory often came, with tears of joy and grief in advance.
I participated in the election of the Students’ Representative Council. As a result, 2o representative were elected by the multi-vote ballot system. I never thought that the moment changed my life forever.
From then, all of us look like brothers and sisters; the bond of friendship is like a big chain, a big circle. We went out together, we study together, we had lunch (and dinner) together, we ‘travel’ to Perak together, and we do almost everything together. It was a wonderful semester, perhaps the most wonderful months in my life. But as time passes by, in the end, the laughter and excitement fades eventually.
Two of them are leaving for doing medicine in Egypt. One of them is leaving for a diploma and one of them left the college to work.
Yes, the joy is fading and eventually I lost myself. The second semester is like a hell on earth. I am mentally tortured. I lost the friends that motivated me, that share their stories and jokes to me, that I accept as my brothers and sisters. They are, honestly, the best circle of friends I ever had.
Things are getting worse and the circle is broken. Ever since, we hardly meet except for meetings and official ceremonies.
I admit that I fell in love with someone in the circle of friends. I don’t know why, but it seems that her humility and her personality became a major factor of it. If I don’t see her for a day, I don’t feel good for the entire day. I don’t think that it will return all the friends back, but at least it helps. Since the day I noticed I faced depression, she helped me a lot to gain back my confidence and happiness. Even though right now the depressive bouts never disappear, at least I could taste the joy of my teenage years.
And still, I wanted to have the circle back. After the circle breaks, we never go out together, we never study together, and we never celebrate birthdays together. My birthday was the last. It was like my last 9th November.
I wanted them to return. I really missed them. I want to go out together, to laugh together, to have lunch together, to study together, and to enjoy our teenage life together, AGAIN.
With tears, AZIZI BIN ZAMHARI a.k.a PRINCE RIGHTY 1 (T.T)