It was almost funny, thinking back on it now. Had it really been such a long time? It seemed to him like it had just started yesterday.
Still, the desperation of all the months of indecisiveness still rested on his shoulders.
Maybe everything would have been different, had he just reacted sooner. But when he had finally made his decision, it had been over for quite a while.
He smiled weakly. Just to think of what could have been, had he not been so stupid. Or would it? Who knew, maybe it wouldn't have been any different. No sense dwelling on it now.
But looking back, what had he done with his life in these past months? Nothing of importance, or so it seemed. He had tried to drown his sorrows in Alcohol, but that never really worked, did it?
Maybe he should just move on, just go ahead and see where his feet would carry him.
But wasnt it just as impossible to move on as it was to stay at this point, to remain forever lost in the parallel reality he had dreamed up?
He was standing at a crossroad, or rather, had been at a crossroad for quite some time now. But once again, he had not been able to make a decision. He knew where one of the ways lead, and it sure seemed to be the easy way to take. The other one was unforeseeable.
But he wasnt even sure if that was such a bad thing. For all he knew, his salvation could be just around the corner. But there might just as well be another apparition, another fountain of joy which would turn out to be filled with acid, another mountain to scale, only to be standing at the top and realizing there was no panorama to be witnessed, just another plain field of scorched earth.
He could spare himself all of that hardship by just choosing to go the other way, the way which lead to oblivion, possibly forgiveness.
People told him not to go that way, but what did they know?