Imagine a door. Nothing special just an old wooden door. You can choose the designing of this door yourself. If you'd like some brain starters here is a few ideas. You could imagine a big heavy black door with the head of a white stallion gazing down upon you with carvings that glow of a liquid blue. You could imagine a small white door, so small you'd have to crawl to pass through. It has no markings just a silver door handle. Think of a door that is you. That shows your personality and mind. Let your creativity flow.
The door that I shall build is an oak door. It had a carved wolf head with its jaws open and teeth bared at me. The door is marked with spots of black ash and cuts of a steel blade upon it to show that I have been to war where I have fought within myself and I have neither lost nor won but each time I was hurt. My door has a carving of a human heart above the wolf and there is dried up blood on the heart with a small name carved in the heart. A name I shall not reveal yet but this shows that I have bled for another. The heart is held within the hands of a person and it signifies that my heart belongs to someone else and that person will always hold it delicately. My door is surrounded by a mist that never leaves so you must be close to see the door to see. Otherwise you are blinded and that is how I and a lot of others walk through life. Blinded. This is my door, think of yours before you read on.
Once you have your door in your mind, imagine yourself sitting before the closed door with your legs crossed. You're gazing upon this door, it once started out the same as your parents doors, but over time the door has shifted and changed and you were never aware of these changes. Perhaps you are still unaware of how much you've changed, why you've changed and if it is for the better or not. One day you notice your door and you realize that your door has been marked. You look at your door and you see all of your life. All of those mistakes, those pathetic boys and/or girls you've cried over, you see the hatred that boiled in your heart for your parents and family when they were against you. But not always were they against you. As you look you realize that you were punished because it was for the better. Your parents taught you who you are today. The world has taught you but your parents did the basics. They told you the wrong and right in this world and you see that you love your parents for everything that they've done. Well... most of it anyways.
Then you have another realization. That wrong and right is just a matter of opinion. It always is, everything in this world is just an opinion. Whether it is right or wrong is up to you. There are few occasions when the truth is revealed but the truth isn't always right, now is it? There are several different types of right. Now I say several because I'm unsure of how many. I'm only aware of two. The right that is your opinion and the right of the truth.
You look upon this door and you see everything you thought was right turn into a puzzle. Now, you must rethink all of those morals, all those beliefs and argue both sides on your own. Once you come to a conclusion, life will challenge you against those morals and beliefs. Then you will know.
The door shows the pain you've been through. The pain of death taking a loved one from your life. Curious isn't it? That the good people die whilst the bad live. But good and bad is like right and wrong. Just a matter of opinion. If you've had the death of a loved one, you've felt a pain like no other. Grandmothers, grandfathers, uncle and aunts, Nanna and Grandad, you get who I am talking about now? Well death is death. People die every day and the only people you feel pain for is those closest to you. Death comes in many forms and there is no nice way to die. The end result is the same. You feel, think, see, hear nothing. You are dead. Empty. Do not fear death, take comfort in the thought of death. Because when you are dead, there is no more pain. Your life is over. Instead, you should live life until there is no more life to live. Then when death comes, you are ready and you can look at your death and smile.
The door shows all the laughter and happiness. The happiness in your life can never be compared to another because it's yours. All yours. Happiness is different for everyone and there are many different levels of happiness. The moment when you are so unbelievably happy you feel like your chest is going to explode so you laugh. That's all you can do is laugh. Laughter is the ultimate happiness. Laughter is a happiness that is too strong for a smile or for words. This is true laughter. I'm not talking about a chuckle or a giggle or a sick twisted laugh. I'm talking about when you laugh so hard that your stomach hurts and your cheeks hurt from smiling so much and the happiness still wants to explode inside you. You must find this laughter somewhere. Someone, something, will make you this happy. Again, it is different for everyone.
The door shows your mistakes. When you loved a boy/girl that didn't love you the same way. When you fell for someone who didn't fall for you. When you drank too much and hurt or disappointed others around you. Or you did something to your body you regret or someone else did something to you that you regret. When you did drugs and the consequence that followed. When you physically hurt someone who did not deserve. Whether they truly deserved it or not depends upon the situation. But think clearly. If someone took something without asking, do they deserved to be hit? Don't be an idiot. Don't be a smart ass. If you're here to mock my words and not take the meaning and depth within my words, then leave. The mistakes you make, let them be a lesson, not a mistake. As if you were in a classroom, it's a lesson and the teacher is the consequence.
The door shows everything. Now, everything is a big blur until you separate them and analyse each and every one of it. That is what a lot of people do. They allow things to pile on them as if it were a huge mountain when really it's multiple things placed into one and people try to tackle the mountain all at once instead of facing each problem individually.
The door is your life. It's your personality. It's you. Like a map, you must look at your life, look at your personality and analyse it. You may have to feel the pain again because you haven't truly gotten over something. If this is the case, then you are not ready for the other side. You are still wounded and learning. And even after this, you need to find a happiness. And even when you think you are ready, you may not be.
You wonder, as you look at this door, what is on the other side. You've been through life, you've suffered, you've smiled, you've laughed, you've had lessons, you've done everything. Why not open the door? Is it death waiting on the other side? Is it eternal happiness? Is it peace? Is it what I want most in the world?
You stand up and take the handle. You breathe deeply and slowly open the door.