It was December thirty first when I found out he died. That's the day I realized life wasn't permanent. After he died I came to the realization that everyone and everything dies. Friends, family, pets, everything dies. But this also brought me to the realization that one can not truly live if one never dies. After that horrible day I decided I would live my life to the fullest. I would look at each day as a challenge.
That's what he taught me. If you're wondering his name was Elias. One of the most ironic things about his death was something that shouldn't be funny. We used to joke around that he was they devil and that he'll had spit him back out. In fact we used to say he couldn't die. Which is why it's so ironic. But I did learn something out of all of this, and that fact is life sucks. Truthfully and honestly life sucks, but that's what makes it such a challenge.
Probably what I find most interesting that I got out of this is that when suicide and mass murders were on the news, I truly never noticed them. But after what's happened to me, I understand what it's like to lose a best friend. Especially one that loved life so much. To be honest I don't know why we were friends. We were two polar opposites. We always disagreed. In fact we constantly butted heads. But I think that's why we were friends.
To be honest I would give up anything to bring him back. Absolutely anything, but that's the Irony of Life and Death. No one knows what death is. It could be heaven like the Bible states, or a void of nothingness. That's why I'm so against suicide. Will the pain end? Who knows? Not I. There is not a day in my life I don't think about him. I was unable to protect him. I wasn't even there. But I can truthfully say I would give my life in a heartbeat for anyone for any reason. Stay safe. That's all I can ask.
Author Notes: Please call the Suicide hotline at 1-800-273-8255 if you are feeling like you want to end your life. Please don't end it.