February 4th, 2011 It hurts to be let down, especially when its your own mother.
It hurts to know that no one will help you.
But then i realized something life is just a game, well atleast my life is.
A life i will never win!! No matter how many chances i get, i lose.
"Sadie get over it okay. You are so annoying sometimes." My mother said
As usual i just klet her say things to me and as usual i act like it doesn't bother me.
I watch my mother leave me alone and i see my brothers happy.
But they don't know the pain im hiding, the tears ive cried.
Nothing is ever gonna be okay anymore, but i'll be lying to myself when i say it will be.
It will be a beautiful lie.
February 5th, 2011
"SADIE!!!!!" My mother yelled. I run to see what she wants.
"What is it mom?" I ask
"Where did you put my car keys?"
"I didn't put them anywhere. Ask Jared, he took the car yesterday"
"Don't blame this on your brother. It's not his fault." She said getting annoyed
"Well i don't know, maybe you should keep better track of your keys." I said getting a little mad.
After that i feel a cold hand run across my face.
"Don't speak to me like that young lady. Who the fuck do you think you are?" She asked pist off.
But honestly i don't care anymore
"Not your blood." I said walking out of the room.
But to be honest it hurt. It's killing me, and i don't know what to do. Should i cry, scream, honestly i've been through this so many times. And i don't care anymore.
I run to my bedroom and as i enter the bedroom i see a familiar face, It's my dad.
"Dad." I said calmly
"WHo the hell do you think you are talking to your kother like that?" He asked
"You heard that? I thought you were in the shower." I said scared
"Well you thought wrong"
"Daddy, please don't hurt me."
"Your mother should have aborted you the first chance she got"
As he says that he takes off his belt, and beats me.
He kicks me, hits me, throws me on the floor.
I am still on the floor. I can barely move a muscle. I'm in so much pain, i can just die right there.
But unfortunately, i don't.
My mother walks in and still sees me on the floor. She kicks me in my stomache.
"Thats what you get you little fucker"
She walks out and closes the door.
No matter how much my body hurts i get up and walk to the bathroom.
I open my cabinet door and see pill bottles, filled up.
I grab three bottles that are filled up and open them. I take as much as i can. But i am determined to finish the three bottles.
I lay on my bed and for some reason i am looking at myself. And i see my older brother Jared crying, while hugging my body. I am lifeless.
I touch my brothers shoulder and even though he can't hear or feel me I whisper