Should I open it? The package is held firmly in mg hands, trembling with my fingers. I can't control myself as my brain goes into overdrive. Should I open it or would I wait? Mom and Dad aren't home yet.... would they want to see?
'Of course they would!' My brain screams, driving my numb legs to my desk and dropping it there, too afraid to touch it. Would it bring good or bad news? It was thick, but maybe that was just my mind playing tricks on me. Maybe it was thin, with scrawled, uncaring words written on crumpled parchment, telling me I wasn't worth it.
My thoughts were pushed aside, and I sat on my twin-sized bed and hugged my knees. What could I do to distract myself from the suspense of my mind? No matter how many times I pushed the thoughts away, they came back! Was it possible to shake the feeling?
My mind battled for control of itself, wanting to send its own thoughts, not my nervous system's. I laughed to myself as I thought the phrase. Did the nervous system produce thoughts or did the brain? How did they come?
"No," I mumbled. "Stop it,"
My brain calmed itself for a moment. I reached over to my sister's bed and retrieved the laptop we shared. I put on some music from my favorite Linkin Park album and focused only on the lyrics, shifting my thoughts from the envelop containing my future to the soothing, angry screams of the rock band.
My mind calmed itself slowly, allowing myself to open my tightly closed eyes, and to stare up at the ceiling that had become the distraction of all my thoughts of the past. The strange spots and non-patternic designs spread across my vision, reminding me of clouds and other shapes I could turn them into.
I found my old deceased dog in the corner of the ceiling, the tail pointed straight up like it used to be when the dog was surprised. An airplane was hovering over the dogs head, and an umbrella formed from it's paws when I unfocused my gaze.
Soon enough I heard a car door slam, and got up nervously from my bed, turning off the loud music and carefully picked the envelope off my desk. Mom and Dad had carpooled today, so they would be arriving at the same time. I drew in a deep breath as I opened my door and walked down the hall. Exhaling slowly, I imagined all of my worries going with the unneeded carbon dioxide.
Relaxed, I padded down the stairs, envelope tucked into my right hand, and heart in my throat.
"Mom?" I asked. "Dad?"
"You ready to go?" Mom asked, arms full with luggage bags.
"Yeah," I answered, shifting my suitcases in my arms.
Nervously, we walked through the campus to the dorm rooms.
Author Notes: You think I should've stopped there or kept going? Please comment/review/rate (whichever one it is)! Thanks! ( ;