The Loss

Hayley Crosby walked along the damp green grass, leaving little footprints behind. She felt the wetness beneath her bare feet as bits of grass stuck to her feet and the dirt followed.
Her hazel eyes stared into nothing straight ahead. There was no sound except for her cold feet pressing into the grass. The thick grey blanket above Hayley hid what was beyond the sky. She knew it was going to rain again but she simply didn't care.

Hayley continued walking silently until she came to the old oak tree. There were still a few leaves left that had not fallen but the rest covered the ground and made a sweet crackling sound as Hayley stepped on them. Underneath the tree was someone Hayley would never see again. This person did not speak, nor was this person touchable. So all Hayley did was stand there and look, feeling her throat fill with tears.

She felt full, as if she had eaten too much only this was different. It was as if she needed to cry to empty herself to make room for something else.

Without realizing, her body began to shake uncontrollably and the first tear of the morning fell down her pale cheek. A gust of cold morning wind attempted to push Hayley closer but she remained still as stone except for her chocolate brown hair that whipped about in the air.

The rain began. It started softly and so did her tears. Neither made barely a sound as they descended onto the earth. As the rain began to fall heavily, the tears that ran endlessly down her cheeks began to all with more power. Her knees weakened as the sound of thunder rolled throughout the sky. Her hair got wetter and stuck to her face.

The pain inside her was almost unbearable. Her stomach felt as if someone had punched her with all their might and the hand delved inside her and wrenched at her insides until she felt twisted. Her lungs needed more air as she breathed short stuttering breaths. Her heart was aching so badly and she wished for it to go away. The memories flooded her mind and the person in front of her did nothing.

The first sound escaped her lips. Just a loud cry that even the heavens heard. It scraped the back of throat as she cried louder from her heart and she fell to her knees. She was crying so loudly in front of this person.

"Hayley?" A voice from behind her called.

Hayley didn't even register in her mind that someone was calling for her. All she could focus on was the pain inside her.

Without thinking she yelled out to nobody. "Please! I can't do this! How am I supposed to keep going?!"

She felt a warmer hand touch her shoulder but Hayley just shrugged it off.

The person knelt beside her silently for a moment before speaking. "Hayley, what are you doing here on your own?"

Hayley could only manage a raspy whisper. "The rain...I like the rain."

"Why?" Came the reply.

Hayley took a few moments to reply. "So no one can see me crying."

There was no reply to that. Hayley saw it was her mother from the corner of her eye. Unspoken words floated around them. Nothing needed to be said as Hayley began to shake with tears.

It seemed a long time they sat there together yet Hayley was so unaware. Her mother walked off for a moment and came back with something in her hand. She walked past
Hayley a few meters until she was standing right where the person laid. She bent over and placed a daisy against the tombstone.

Her mother walked back to Hayley and stood in front of her. Offering her hand, Hayley looked up at her. The smile on her mother made Hayley feel like there a slight piece of hope in this otherwise sad time.

Hayley took her mother's hand and together they walked away from the tombstone that meant so much to them. One tombstone within a million others in this never ending cemetery. One cemetery in another million and only one person they felt pain for.

As they walked away, Hayley looked over her shoulder at the person that they would never see again. Never hug, nor see smile. Never feel their love, never hear a word, never see them change and never will this person see the world again.

Hayley whispered four words as she looked back. "I love you, dad."

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