It was a beautiful sunny day in Seattle, which is so unusual for the 4th of July; a day for fireworks and celebration honoring our country's independence. That day, little did I know that I was soon to receive a very special message from the most unusual messenger.
It was early in the afternoon and I was seriously busy refinishing some very old windows out on my back porch. All of the doors and windows throughout my home where open, letting in the light and fresh air.
My life was certainly going through some changes. Only a month before, I had been struggling with a relationship that I knew needed to change form. A few days earlier I had said my goodbyes. I had always heard that when one door closes another door opens, but I didn't know if I was fully prepared to step into the new door that was presenting itself so quickly. You see, I was finally realizing that the dearest male friend that I had ever known, was the soul mate I had been looking for my entire life. What a shock to my senses this was! I had always thought of myself as an intuitive person, but I didn't see this one coming. It was like I had a veil pulled over my eyes.
Needless to say, I was filled with bliss from this new awareness. But also scared and a bit unsure at the same time. They say that the chance of someone single in their mid forties finding true love, is like finding an old vintage "oat penny" in a jar full of pocket change--highly unlikely. (What do 'they' know :-)
I knew in my heart that my friend Kirk was a soul mate, but my head was swimming in some type of fear that I couldn't really fully understand. So, I did what I do when I need to process so many emotions. I worked on something tangible in the physical world that needed to be fixed.
As I was refinishing the old window frames, I began to notice layer after layer of different colored paint. It seemed like I was going through the generations of a family tree as each layer was exposed. Each of the colors of paint was sharing a story about different cycles in my life. As each layer exposed itself, I had some sort of revelation. I can't really tell you every thought that went through my mind, but it seemed so very revealing at the time.
There came a point when I was so full of thought that I knew I needed to take a break. So, I decided to walk into my magical dining room where the beautiful stained glass windows surrounded my favorite plants. It was at that very moment when something unusual caught my eye. I have always had an affinity for butterflies and love to watch them outside, but this was the first time I had ever seen one indoors.
"Wow!", I thought to myself. "This is the most unusual looking butterfly." I have seen Monarch butterflies up close, but never one like this before. So I slowly walked up to take a better look. I was in awe. This butterfly was so very large, black, white, and orange and incredibly beautiful. He seemed quite calm really; much calmer than I was for sure.
I wondered, "Now, what does a person do with a butterfly in their home?" I can tell you what I thought. I was concerned that he was going to die if he stayed inside any longer. It is unnatural for a butterfly not to be free. So, I wondered what to do.
Just then I heard thoughts in my head telling me to fill myself with love and then to place my hand beside this radiant butterfly. So I did just that. As I was feeling this incredible sense of love oozing from my being, I watched him so intently while pressing my hand close to him against the window pane. In my amazement he slowly and steadily crept over to my hand and I watched him carefully step right into the center of my palm. I was motionless and in shock. Why would a butterfly as unusually beautiful as this one come inside my home and end up in my palm?
Just then I heard another thought fill my senses, and this time it seemed to be coming from the Butterfly!
"Trust dear one. Trust your life and trust your heart. Here you are with the door open, and the light is shining the way. I am here to show you that you now have your independence. Do with it as you wish. In going through the door before you, your life will have more freedom than you have ever known before."
This was so weird. I had this incredible peace fill every inch of my being. I just knew this butterfly was sent to me as a messenger, to tell me everything was okay; that my love for my wonderful friend and soul mate Kirk, was perfect, so not to fear.
I slowly walked the twenty-five or so steps through my dining room and out onto my front porch. The butterfly contently lay in the palm of my hand, not about to leave until he knew I received my message. At the point of mutual acknowledgement I raised my hands to the sky and watched as the butterfly so elegantly ascended from my palm up into the sky.
I stood there for a while and watched him circle the yard, as if he was smiling back at me, saying his goodbyes. I thought to myself, "What a magical messenger indeed." From that moment on, I have never turned back.