The Night

As I lay in my bed sometimes I reminisce on the things I could've changed.

Recently I was sexually assaulted by one of my best friends no less and I felt so violated. I hated myself that I didn't do anything to stop it. They want my forgiveness but that is asking so much of me, I can never look at them the same. I hated myself so much and I couldn't talk to anyone about it.
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I felt like I was being such a drama queen, seeking attention but I couldn't control how I felt. I'm not a very emotional person but this nearly broke me. Every night I look out into the night and imagine what I could've done differently, but the thing is you can't change the past.
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As much as everything hurts it hardens you in the end. It protects you from further damage and the cold night becomes the balm to all your worries. I know I'll get through this and no one is ever truely alone.

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