The pain

Every night i pray to God asking for happiness in life. I get the happiness but i always feel as if there's a demon lurking inside me.. telling to do things that could get rid of my pain. Like when i started cutting. It went on for a while... but the pain was still there. I dont know why it wont go away.. i have friends and a family who support me in everything. But then there's the lurking demon inside me still. It wont leave me alone, why? why are you in me?! i yell and scream... do you want me to suffer? why, what did i do that was so bad that i have to suffer and worry all day everyday? why?!?. But i still get no answer. It refuses to tell me why, the only way i can find out is by controlling my own self..not letting this.. this demon or devil inside me control me. So is that the demon or me cutting myself? i will never know...

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