The Perfume

“How about this dress?” my sister asked pointing towards a beautiful white ball gown. This one was actually better than the last 10 bridal dresses that both of us browsed through.

“You know what? This one is actually good.”

“Then let me go try…” She paused. The $2000 price tag caught both of our eyes at the same time.

“Don’t worry about it. Just go and try it.” Her face brightened up as she trotted away towards the dressing room with the assistant. I hadn’t seen my little sister this happy ever since our parents died. That is why I wanted the entire wedding to be as smooth as possible.

As I browsed through the countless wedding planners, the chime of the shop door made little distraction. I kept browsing on the sofa when suddenly a fragrance filled the air. The familiarity of the fragrance caught me off-guard, one that took me back ten years, when I was just a broke guy.

I looked up from my phone, full of hope with just a grain of concern. And there she was, right in front of me. Even after all these years, it didn’t take me a moment to recognize those curious blue eyes. Dan, who’s a family friend and also the owner of the store, was shocked as well. The look in his eyes when he faced me clearly asked, “How is she walking again?”

I stood up so that she would notice me. And she did. She looked at me and then looked away as if I were a nobody. Logic had already given up. Emotion kicked in. I started walking towards the counter.

“Hi, I had an order under the name of Claire.” There was no doubt anymore. Same name, same eyes.

“Uh…an A-line?” Even Dan was stuttering as he checked the order list. “It’ll take only a minute.” Dan took off towards the back of the store. She was getting married and the guy obviously wasn’t me.

“Congratulations on the marriage.” I didn’t think that this would be what I say to her.

“Thank you!” she replied in the same chipper voice that I had missed so much.

“How long have you been here?” I asked, “I mean I didn’t see you here before.”

“Just a couple of days. I used to live here long ago.” She replied.

“Oh, I see.” Dan was taking his sweet time finding the outfit. He wanted me to keep talking to her but the conversation had already gone stale. There wasn’t anything I could talk about that wouldn’t bring up the horrible trauma that she had been through. But just before the silence could get awkward, my sister came out of the fitting room.

“I think this one looks….” her words couldn’t make it out of her mouth. Claire ran across the room to her “Oh my god!! You look so beautiful.” she squealed as she hunched down to inspect the flair on the dress. My sister gave me a bewildered look. I signaled her to be calm. Everything was happening so fast that none of us could even think.

Suddenly she stood up. “I’m so sorry.” Her face was flushed with embarrassment. “I’m Claire.” her hand shot out towards my sister and she took it. “I’m Jess. Nice to meet you.” she replied as if her mind wasn’t falling apart at the very sight of Claire. She turned to face me. But just as she extended her hand towards me, the door chime interrupted us. She retracted her hand and ran to the new customer, leaving me hanging. It was him. The one she was getting married to.

I felt something that I had never felt before. A kind of emptiness that I had never felt. The harrowing realization that I had lost her forever slowly weighed in. All these years that I spent apart from her, I hoped. I really hoped that I would be able to put all these years behind me and get her back in my life. But right now, at this moment, I realized how far I had drifted from that reality.

“This is Jess,” she told her would-be-husband, “and this is…”

“I’m Aron, Jess’s big brother.” I extended my hand again in hopes of getting back the hanging handshake. The husband moved in for a firm one. “I’m Brad. Nice to meet you, Aron and Jess.” He spoke in a deep and calm voice, “Are you guys old friends of Claire?”

“No,” I replied, “we just met here.” A blatant lie. One I wish I didn’t have to tell.

“I heard from Claire that you guys aren’t from around here.” I asked

“Yeah! We came all the way from Blackford, Glasgow.” Brad answered.

“So, you guys are on a trip?” Jess followed up.

“No, no. The thing is, my baby here….”

“My baby” Brad’s choice of words made my fist clench.

“...wanted to buy her bridal dress from this particular shop.” He finished.

“Wait! You guys came all the way to Radcliffe only for a bridal dress?” Jess continued.

“Well, ever since we started prepping for the wedding, I suddenly remembered this shop for no apparent reason. And I felt like I had to buy the dress from here. That’s why.” She said what I was hoping to hear. Her remembering of this shop showed that some fragments of our time together were still alive inside her.

“I thought since I chose the shop for the rings, she should select the boutique for the dresses.” Jess started to nag them to show the rings. She was always like this, making friends in an instant. But I was completely cut off, furiously fighting against myself, trying to keep myself from telling her everything.

“Ma’am your dress is ready.” Dan called out.

“I’ll go and try it out.” She excused herself but before she could go Brad pointed out the platinum band I had on my ring finger.

“Is that a wedding ring?” Claire shot me a glance but was a second too late. My hand was already in my pocket.

“It’s a keepsake. From my only love, though she is not with me anymore” I replied. More emotion flowing than I would’ve liked.

“I’m sorry.” Brad said.

“Don’t be. She isn’t dead. She just forgot me.” I could see the confusion in Brad’s eyes. Jess was also looking at me as if to stop me from saying everything.

“Retrograde Amnesia.” I said, “She was in an accident in which she lost parts of her memory. Including those of me.” Brad’s indifference to the mention of Retrograde Amnesia showed that he didn’t know about Claire’s condition. But Claire had a confused look on her. Maybe because of how her story was matching with mine. But still, she didn’t react much.

“You’re going through a lot man.” Brad sympathized.

“My brother is one tough cookie” Jess patted my back.

“Brad,” Claire suddenly called out, “the dress is done. Let’s go.” There was something off about the way she spoke.

“Didn’t you want to try on the dress?” Brad stopped her.

“I’ll try it on later.” she turned to Dan. “Could you pack it up please?” Her voice had a sudden urgency.

“Of course” Dan replied. We all could sense something that didn’t feel right about the atmosphere.

“Are you guys going to start for Blackford right now?” I tried to deter them from leaving.

“No, we are going to spend the whole day tomorrow here. She wanted to spend her birthday in her hometown.” Brad said. I looked at my phone. Indeed tomorrow would be the 15th of September. It was also the day that I left her life.

“Oh, our hometowns are the same. How nice!” Jess acted. Dan handed her the package. And Brad gave him his credit card.

“Hey, why don’t you guys come to my wedding? It would be nice.” Jess suggested.

“That’s a great idea.” Claire brightened up.

“You should also come to ours.” Brad said. Brad and Jess exchanged contacts so that we could text each other the details.

“Thanks for the invite.” I said. Excited about the chance to see Claire again. I had wished to be able to see Claire in her wedding dress. But I didn’t think that this is how I would be able to have my wish realized.

“Alright then. We better get going. My parents must be waiting for us.” Claire said. Jess and Claire hugged while Brad and I shook hands again. I didn’t want them to leave. But there was nothing I could do to stop them now. We bade our goodbyes and they started walking towards the door. Dan and Jess watched as I tried to keep my composure. I just stood there, watching her leave. Refusing to let go. Just as Brad got out, she stopped and looked back at me.

It felt like my heart dropped from my chest. If my life was a film, this would’ve been the moment when she would have come running to me, saying that she remembered everything. But life is not a film. She just smiled and left.

She left my life once again. This time taking with her any hopes of making her mine again. I Stayed back. Along with the fragrance of her perfume that still lingered in the air.

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