I was normal I still want to be normal but how can I, i have a huge secret no one can know so please when I explain this to you don’t freak out this is very important to keep it a secret. It all started back in July it was 18 birthday and my best friends Emily and John threw me a party I would never forget. There were people I haven't seen in all my life one of them was Derrick. He was so beautiful and kind and funny oh, and you can't forget passionate he loves art and all sports but his dad hates it when he draws or paints and sculpts the most beautiful things you can imagine. But he’s gone now forever and it's not even my fault, well it kinda is but, he should be here with me now but he's not. My heart keep beating faster and faster maybe if I would've turned the other cheek at him this never would've happened all I've ever worked for is gone.My last year of high school doesn't matter even the med school that took months to get in doesn't matter!
Why have i done this to myself why would he do this to me, to us. After we met I found out I was pregnant(has trouble saying it) sorry it's still very hard to deal with right now especially after what he did. After I found out He was the first person I went to the only person I could think of he was upset with Me, he said he was okay and we could work through this. But he wasn't okay he should be telling my parents with me it should be both of us but he committed suicide. Now I'm thinking should i too, I mean we would be together there would be no baby my parents though. They wouldn't know why I did this there poor little baby girl gone out of there reach and all because of me. I’m not there poor little girl anymore but I am they're stupid, easy breezy little girl I’m in the room with them I could tell them now it would help but what would they say what about my younger brother and sister Meg’s going into middle school next year and Ethan is going into high school what kind of example would this be for them. Maybe I don’t have to tell them but in only a few months my stomach will start to show what about cheer leading I’m leading them to Nationals what type of caption would I be if I ditched them for baby I haven't even met yet. I could do abortion no one would ever have to know. But what about the side effects and what if the doctor tells my parents I would be in even more trouble for A. Not telling them B. get pregnant And C. getting an abortion. I would think my mom would be okay maybe my dad my mom had me when she was 15 with my dad. She was three years younger than me, I mean out of anyone they should understand the very most even though they never ever wanted any of this to happen to me. I think I’m gonna tell them what's the worst that could happen. The correct answer, Everything.
Author Notes: I will be publishing part 2 as soon as possible
United States • 19 years old