We were both lost souls. That's what she had said. She said that since we both lost a piece of ourselves, we were "lost". I guess that's true, but lost doesn't mean that we can't be found. At least, that's what I believed.
I'm not so naive anymore though. Now that I'm running away with her blood on me I don't see how my soul can ever be "found".
Blood. Why was there so much blood? It wasn't supposed to happen like this. It wasn't supposed to end with her blood
on my hands.
But now the thick red liquid stains my clothes and covers my hands. It drips down into the dirt and grass as I sprint away from the scene of the crime. I dash through the forest letting tree branches tear through the fabric of my shirt. roots and having no clear path make tripping easy. But I don't. I can't afford to get caught. So I don't let anything in the forest slow me down. But that doesn't stop my mind from wanting me to turn back.
It takes all of my willpower to not break down right here. I should be allowed to cry. I should be allowed to fall to pieces and scream until all I can do is think about how helpless I am without her. I should at least be allowed to catch my breath and change into something a little less... bloody.
If she saw me right now she'd probably say something like "So... are we burning or burying?" or "You're giving off murderer vibes." Then she'd smirk and wink while I stood there confused. I chuckle at the thought and I miss her even more.
I shake her out of my thoughts before I start crying, and focus on the task at hand. Escaping. But I need to stop running. It feels like my lungs are about to explode and my legs will give out. I can't hear anyone chasing after me right now. So I collapse.
I'm lying on the ground taking big gulps of oxygen while staring up at the sky. Trees block most of my view of the sky but I don't care. I stare at the only star I can see from where I lie and instantly know it's her. She's watching me and I swear a smirk is plastered to her face. As if to say "I told you so". I remember how she used to joke that she'd be the one to die first. Whenever I did or said something rude to her she'd always say that I'd regret it when she was gone. Now I know how right she'd been. Guilt creeps in from all those times I made her upset. I let out a sigh and look away from the star. It reminds me too much of her.
I know I should still be running but I need a break. Why would she save someone so pathetic? I know she saved me because we're best friends but... am I really worth saving? She was always the friendly one. She would put on a fake smile and talk to people as if they were already friends. But whenever we were alone she'd tell me that they were all fake friends. She said I was her only true friend.
And yet I had been the reason she'd died.
The bullet was meant for me. The only reason I'm not dead is because of her. I just stood there and let her push me out of the way. I just stood there and let her die.
I'm pulled away from my thoughts by the sudden chill in the air. I feel the tears leaving trails down my cheeks. I force myself upright wanting to go home. I just want this day to be over.
I climb over the rusted chain-link fence and walk down an empty sidewalk. All the shops are closed and the only light comes from the lampposts. There's no moon tonight. I hope no one can see me. I just want to be alone right now.
As I walk past all the empty buildings I can hear soft music playing. It sounds wrong. The melody is off and there are notes where there shoudn't be. But still it sounds beautiful. I wonder if anyone else can hear it.
I wonder if anyone else is listening to the song for lost souls.