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The stench of cheddar

The stench of cheddar

By aranohare

Once upon a time a polar bear wanted to travel to the moon so that he could find out if the moon was really did taste of cheese. The reason Larry the polar bear wanted to do this so badly was because of his lust for the incredible golden delight, he just loved the taste of cheese.

Larry tried everything but he just couldn't reach the moon. he tried jumping, catapulting and even teleportation. Everything failed, Larry knew the only other way that he could get to the moon was to go to NASA and hijack one of their rockets. But how on earth was he going to get there he was at the south pole and was the only polar bear there. He had been banished from the north pole by the king of the polar bears to the south pole.

The only other polar bear to be banished was James who was banished about a hundred years ago he was put onto a massive iceberg which was pushed away from the north pole to send him sailing to the south pole to live a life of solitude. When James was travelling south a gigantic ship hit his iceberg in 1912. James jumped on to the boat that had just came from Belfast and started a killing spree which didn't end until it had sank, luckily some people got away on the life boats.

Anyway back to the main story. Every day since Larry stepped foot in Antarctica he had been harassed by penguin's 24/7 they absolutely hated him, I don't know why he hadn't tried to get away any sooner. Larry was thinking of way to get to NASA and because Larry was so cunning he new just how to get there, he stuck out his hand and pointed his thumb in the direction of the USA sure enough along came Chuck Norris and flew him to NASA, Larry thanked Chuck then entered the NASA space center.

where he went to reception and asked where the rockets where, the woman behind the desk got up slowly and ran away screams from inside the building could be heard from miles away. “calm down” Larry said trying to insure the people that he didn't mean any harm but the only thing that the people could hear was ferocious roars, Larry suddenly felt the sharp pain of a tranquilliser dart in his ass, he fell to the ground and into a deep sleep.

When Larry woke up he took a look around “Where the F**k am I” he shouted. It turned out after he had been tranquillised he was brought to the Sandiego zoo since there was a shortage of polar bears there. Larry stuck out his thumb again in the hope that Chuck Norris would come and save him, Larry waited and waited and waited but Chuck didn't show up. It was closing time at the zoo, visitors had staired at him all day. Larry looked up to see the last crowd of people watch him, Larry saw someone he knew from the crowd it was of coarse Barrack Obama who was once a polar bear that protected the pole at the north pole from vandalism he was Santa's right hand man.

Obama freed Larry and Larry realised that bears just weren't meant to land on the moon to eat the exotic cheese, so Larry asked Obama for one last favour. It was the next best thing to getting to flying to the moon for him. He got a job at Cheese 'r' Us corparation tasting and testing all of their types of cheese. The best bit about the job was the unlimited amount of free canned cheese.

2 years later:
Larry got addicted to cheese and had to go to rehab there he met the cookie monster who was in rehab for his cookie addiction. Larry spent 2 months at rehab and was let go he stayed clean for 3 more years until he went mentally insane and started terrorising the neighbourhood in pursuit of cheese cake. After that he went back to being an addict. Bought his cheese from a tweleve year old cheader dealer in the allyway at the back of his house. Larry took cheese any way he could; he snorted it, injected it and even smoked it. There was no stopping him. Larry later died from cheese poisoning.

Larry had went further than any polar bear had ever gone but it all went to his head. He was an inspiration to all otherpolar bears out there, he showed them that they should keep trying and that if they dream it then it can happen unfortunately in the end it didn't quiet work out for him. After Larry's death Obama had him turned into a carpet and is still lying in the oval office in the white house today and is the reason that when you enter the white house you can smell a strong stench of cheedar.

(what ever happens don't let this story fall into the wrong hands. Because the FBI are searching for Larry's body for examination. I do not wish for anyone to disturb the remains of Larry Henderson code name “big white bear” because the FBI might bring him back to life or clone him which may leed to the destruction of man kind)

(Im just going to take this chance to say that if Charlie Sheen keeps going on the way he is taking drugs he will end up like Larry)

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25 Apr, 2011
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