as i stepped into the restaurant i could see that there was a lot of people sitting in all the booths. this is a kind of bad thing for me because I'm afraid of being around a lot of people.
I'm also a paranoid and schizophrenic person. I'm also gay and 17 years old.
my name is Anthony James and this is my story of my life and how Ive tryed to end it so many times but something always stops me when i get to that point.
i do have a boyfriend and he is very supportive for me and every thing. he is the best but its not him its me I'm the one who has the problems....
when i was 7 i lost my parents and my Lil brothers who were twins in a car wreak....
after that i was taken into custody by child protective services. then i was put up for adoption and well i was when i was almost nine....
the family that adopted me was the Thomas's. they were OK at first i mean they would by me anything i wanted. they were really rich they also had three kids of there own already.. i was there first adopted kid..
there kids were nice to me and treated me right.....
the oldest is Dannie he is two years younger then me at 15 and he is kind of a pretty boy a real looker hes also gay not a shock there..
the next one is billy hes 12 and is also gay and not really that cute but he apparently gets attention from all the guys at his school cause hes always talking about it like every day.
then there's Lil Rickey hes 10 and is bisexual but mostly likes guys so its pretty normal to openly talk about having a boyfriend and what not.
our parents dad i guess is his title hes a self made millionaire after his construction company took off in the mid 80's and he built his reputation as one of the best in the world.
then there's mom shes a really sweet woman she works as a councilor actually as a family therapist and shes really good to one of the best that's were all the money comes from and there rarely ever home cause there always busy with work shit ..
to be continued.............................
chapter 1 : the start of my new life
so like i said i was adopted when i was 9ish by the Thomas family who were and still are
great people. they have always been there for me when i needed them. but in truth they
cant ever bring be my parents or replace my real ones. and there kids are all great they all
look up to me as there older brother which is cool...
it just always seems like i can never think strait i mean no matter how hard i try it never
goes away its like a huge never ending nightmare that just doesn't ever stop.
THE DOCTOR SAID THAT I WAS SUFFERING FROM A REALLY RARE DISEASE THAT WAS CAUSED FROM LOSING MY PARENTS AND MY LIL BROTHERS IN THE CAR WREAK.THEY SAID THAT I WAS ALREADY DEPRESSED THAT'S WHY I ALWAYS CUT ON MY SELF AND ALWAYS THOUGHT ABOUT SUICIDE.. THEY ALSO SAID THAT WHEN MY PARENTS DIED I STARTED TO BECOME REALLY CRAZY LIKE ENOUGH TO TO KILL PEOPLE.. WHICH IS WHY THEY MAKE ME TAKE A LOT OF PILLS TWICE A DAY. BUT HERES WHAT I THINK I THINK THERE THE ONES WHO ARE CRAZY I LOST MY WHOLE FAMILY AND I WAS NEVER ABLE TO DO A FUKKIN THING ABOUT IT.... HOW WOULD U FEEL IF THIS HAPPENED TO U ....?
AND I LIKE I SAID I DON'T HAVE A LOT OF FRIENDS THE ONLY ONES THAT ARE REAL FRIENDS IS MY BESTY HER NAME IS CECE SHES LIKE MY LIL SISTER AND IS LIKE THE ONLY PERSON I TRUST WITH MY LIKE SHES ALWAYS BEEN THERE WE GREW UP TOGETHER AND SHES SEEN EVERYTHING IVE EVER DONE. SHE REALLY IS THE BEST. THEN THERE'S JAMIE HES MY OTHER BESTY AND MY VERY FIRST BOYFRIEND I EVER HAD... "WINK WINK"... YEA I LOST MY VIRGINITY TO HIM AND IT WAS AMAZING TO BUT LIKE I SAID WE ARE JUST FRIENDS NOTHING MORE HES ALSO ALWAYS BEEN THERE FOR ME MORE THEN ANYBODY BESIDES CECE OF COURSE...
AJ SON U AWAKE SAID MOM. YEA IM AWAKE NOW I SAID AS I CLIMBED OUT OF BED AND WENT TO TAKE A QUICK SHOWER BEFORE I HAD TO FACE YET ANOTHER DAY AT SCHOOL.
I WAS LISTENING TO MUSIC ON MY FONE THE SONG WAS BAD COMPANY-FIVE FINGER DEATH PUNCH. AS I HOPED INTO THE CAR WITH MY LIL BROTHERS I REALIZED THAT THEY NEEDED ME AND IF I DROPPED OUT OF SCHOOL THAT WOULD BE STUPID AND THEY WOULD BE FUCKED CAUSE THEY WOULD HAVE TO FACE ALL THE SAME SHIT THAT I DID UNTIL I STARTED WHOOPING PEOPLES ASSES THEN THEY LEFT ME ALONE AND STOPPED FUCKING WITH ME. AND THE WORST PART THEY WOULD BE ALONE WITHOUT ANY BODY THERE TO SAVE THEM. AND THIS DIDN'T SIT WELL WITH ME AFTER I THOUGHT ABOUT IT. AND THE BOTTOM LINE TO IT ALL WAS IT WAS SOME REAL FUCKED UP SHIT, AND I WASENT GONNA LET I HAPPEN.
I HOPPED OUT OF THE CAR AND WALKED OVER TO THE DRIVERS SIDE SO I COULD GIVE MOM A HUG AND A KISS. SHE SAID I LOVE U PLZ STAY OUT OF TROUBLE AJ UR BETTER THEN THAT SON.
I WALKED INTO THE SCHOOL WITH 2 OF MY BROTHERS BEHIND ME... EVERYTHING AND EVERYBODY STOPPED WHAT THEY WERE DOING.. JUST STARING WAITING TO SEE WHAT WAS GOING TO HAPPEN NEXT. AS I STOOD THERE SURVEYING ALL OF THIS IT WAS KIND OF COOL COME TO THINK ABOUT IT... IT WAS LIKE I WAS GOD OR SOMETHING..
I LOOKED BACK AT MY LIL BROS AND WINKED AT THEM AND THEY WINKED BACK THEN I GAVE THEM THE LOOK OF OK LETS SEE WERE THIS GOES AND LETS GET THE MOST OUT OF IT.... THEY GAVE ME THE NOD OF OK WERE DOWN WITH IT..........
BY THEN CECE CAME WALKING UP WITH A LOOK OF CONFUSION AND UNANTICIPATED SHOCK OF WHAT WAS GOING ON.
HEY SAID CECE. HI I SAID WHATS UP ? SHE WAS QUIET FOR A SEC TRYING TO PICK HER WORDS CAREFULLY.. THEN SHE SAID SO WHATS UP WITH THE 2 GUYS BEHIND U WHO ARE THEY. I WAITED A SEC BEFORE I ANSWERED HER JUST TO ADD A LIL BIT MORE SUSPENSE TO IT. THEN I SAID WELL BEFORE I GOT TO SCHOOL TODAY THEY WERE JUST PART OF THE FAMILY THAT ADOPTED ME. AND THEY WERE NOBODY OF IMPORTANCE TO ME BUT THEN I RELIZED SOMETHING THAT GOD OR WHATEVER U WANT TO CALL HIM HAS GIVEN ME A SECOND CHANCE TO HAVE MY BROTHERS BEHIND ME. AND SO I STAND HERE IN FRONT OF U RIGHT NOW CECE WITH A REAL AND SINCERE ATTITUDE OF THIS... I DONT CARE IF THERE NOT MY BLOOD WHICH IM SURE BY NOW EVERYBODY HERE KNOWS THAT ALREADY. BOTTOM LINE IS THIS... IF ANY BODY FUCKS WITH THEM IM GONNA BE ONE PISSED OFF MUTHAFUCKA AND U DON'T WANT THAT.. SO UR BEST BET IS IF U HAVE PROBLEM U COME TO ME TO DEAL WITH IT.
As we walked into the gym I noticed aiden sitting in one of the corners. As we walked up to him he looked up at me and said this I thought I was never gonna see u again I was scared and worryed so much about u like never before until I talked to jamie he said that u were ok he also said he has some kind of special connection with u and it helpped alil bit but I just could get it out of my head that u were gone forever.
I stood there for a sec then I said this. Yea its true that I was gonna leave I was gonna run away far from here but I relized that I had a family that did really care about me and not only that but u really need to wipe those tears babe and get up off the floor and come here. He got up and came over to me then I grabbed him in my arms and kissed him on the lips and then I said lets not worry about the past anymore babe k. Lets just be happy im tired of letting the past hold me back.
Then he said ok I can handle that. Then I said look babe ur the best and all I need right now is for u to be there when I need u to be and everything else is gonna be fine k.
My lil bro Dannie looked at me and I smiled at him and he smiled back. Then we walk to class even though we were hella late by now it was good I explained it to the teacher and he said that he backed it up 100% and that we were in class on time. I said thanks.and walked back to seat smiling at my lil bro and smiled back .
The day was going great until we had lunch. Cece came walking up without billy . I said weres billy at? She said that she heard that he got into a fight with some kid cause the kid was picking on him because he was kissing a boy ..
I was pissed now I told her to go find out who the boy was and let me know so I could go deal with it ...
Cece came back and said the boys name was Cory jankenz and he didn't roll alone. I said it aint a prob. By now Jamie was all over it. I told her to wait there and if I didn't call her in ten minutes to go to the principal. I grabbed Donnie by the scruff of his neck and we left....
As we were walking up to were this Lil punk was at I noticed there was like ten people behind him..
I realized had to think of something quick cause there's no way I was gonna be able to take 11 guys at once ... it is impossible .
So I said this how its gonna go me and u are gonna fight 1/1 for u getting my Lil bro kicked out of school and if any of Ur boys hope in so will mine... then he said OK that's respectable.
so we walked up towards each other ready to start the ass whooping and out of no where the principal comes walking up.