Have you ever been so deep in your thoughts and suddenly you feel tears coming down? Have you ever been heartbroken by someone you thought would never hurt you? Do you know how it feels like to be hurt by the person you love? Well I know exactly how it feels like! It’s not as easy as some of you say it is.
It all started this one day when I was searching up “cute guys that are 14 years old in snapchat.” Yea I know you might think it was silly but I was looking for someone who would pay some attention to me and I found that someone through snapchat. Me and him never met each other in person, we never saw each other, never gave each other a hug or anything. He had texted me first saying hey and I replied with the same answer, after a while we started getting to know each other I had posted this link so people can send anonymous messages and I happened to see this message that said “you’re pretty and I low-key would date you.”
It never occurred to me that it was him until a screenshotted the thing and posted to see who it was and he slid up and said it was him. That day we got to know each other even more, but I didn’t stay completely honest. I lied to him about my age and that moment that I realized that it was a bad thing lying to him. A few days later he had asked me out and I felt so guilty because my mind knew that I had lied to him. I said yes to him and we were happy ‘til the arguments started kicking in.
I couldn’t take it no more so I decided to tell him the truth about my age. When I told, him he went off on me, he had called me a liar which I could understand because I lied to him. But I lied to him because I wanted him so bad. After this whole thing, we broke up and we blocked each other on snap but I never forgot about him not in a million of years.
After a long while I unblocked him and had added him to see if he would accept it and he did. He had texted me saying “wow! Such a long time since we last spoke.” That made me think about the things I did in the past when I had him when I was with him, but I did horrible things. Sometimes we would text each other and sometimes we wouldn’t until this one day he confessed that he misses me.
I was happy to see that text message no one can ever understand why. He was everything to me and still is he would never leave my heart and I would never forget about him. We started talking a few days later as in the “about to date” stage. He had promised me a lot of things that he never succeeded, he failed on all his promises.
The arguments we had was extremely overboard he would say things that will hurt me and made me think that he hadn’t changed at all and that it was best if I just left but I stayed there waiting for him and nobody else. I would post pictures of myself that maybe revealed a little too much but the way he reacted had me thinking so many bad things. I would end up cutting myself every time he would go off on me because the things he would call me hurts me a lot and I still think about it and I’m just like wow! Where did we go wrong? But I knew the answer to that.
We weren’t going to work out at all and I knew that for a fact. He had asked me for nudes and I would feel uncomfortable sending them but I did. I sent him pictures of everything, with and without clothes. And right at this moment I regret everything. He called me a hoe, a little whore, a bitch and everything else you can name someone. He would post pictures of him with his homies and this one girl only and he knew how that would get me. I’m a very jealous person and I don’t like sharing what’s mine and he knew that perfectly fine. Sometimes I would just look at our messages and start thinking if I was the one who did something wrong. But no it wasn’t me even though he tried saying everything was my fault I realized that it was all him he didn’t trust me and he never did, just like I didn’t trust him.
Author Notes: Please don't judge me on some of the things I wrote.