"If you love something let it go and if it comes back to you it's yours if it doesn't it never was" - I'm crying inside and no one will know but me! Pain doesn't hurt when its all you ever felt, "sticks and stones" might break my bones but words have destroyed me. I'm so close to the edge I'm going to fall over. I'll pretend like nothings wrong and smile but really inside I'm crying and I feel so close to death, wish I could just die (parish) cause I can't take my own life away, I'd feel like a coward so I try to face reality, and slowly begin to cry for all of those undesirable memories and the time I am living in now. I wonder why must this keep recurring and every time worse, too distasteful for words, I cannot explain. No one believes. Who will you turn to when this occurs to you? I can't look up to. Tell me how will you survive (or have survived) , I can't find a way out. Sometimes I catch a break for a while, I can say I'm even happy. So glad it's over and ending but a second later everything goes wrong. I loose my head and fall into pieces. I tell you my hearts fragile. But why tell you? Your going to break it more than it already is, you'll hurt me even more, and every time this happens I feel as if to fall into a deep hole of despair, I am depressed with distress. I don't know what to do, I'm lost and lonely. I can't make it . Just make me disappear and help me never come back, get as close as you can get me to never have been born. Someone please help so I can stop this pain, convince me out of my disdain, tell me it will rain so that I refrain and as a last resort tell me that there is always hope....tears, tears, tears, so many tears!!!