The day was gusty with each breeze whipping my hair in my face. I ran down the sidewalk, each stride my shoes falling off and falling further behind each time. She was a pro at running, so disappearing out of my line of sight would be easy for her. But I run faster screaming her name. I didn’t want to lose her at least not in like this. I didn’t understand why she was running and leaving me behind. I tried to catch up but my oxygen and energy supply was near the levels of empty. She stopped and looked behind at me and waved, mouthing out she loved me and continued on leaving me lost in a world of confusion.
I was sitting on the porch of my house with my head on my legs and my hands covering my eyes trying to figure out what had just happened. Things were supposed to be perfect today and not turn out how they had. Confused I sat there replaying each thought going over every little detail to see how I could have fixed it. Was it my fault? So...I got lost in my thoughts and ended up thinking to the beginning of that day.
The day was like any other day in June; warm and heavy winds. It was my sister, Sophie’s birthday. She was turning 18 and she and I were really good friends for being sisters but I never fully realized this. I never truly understood how much she really cared for me.
Anyway, we both woke up kind of early for it being summer. The day started with us searching the kitchen for anything that was edible and could pass for breakfast food. Finally of deciding that there was nothing at home Sophie decided that we need to march ourselves down to the local bakery where she was going to pay for the food.
The trip to the bakery was a quiet one. That was unusual for Sophie. It was like she was hiding something from me. I tried to make conversation but that ended in flames. She didn’t want to talk. So the walk continued in awkward silence or at least for me it did. When the long walk for such a short distance the bakery smelled better than ever, the smell was of freshly baked doughnuts and cookies filled the air with my stomach rumbled loudly. Sophie laughed and pushed the door open and held it for me. I wandered in, overwhelmed by the wonderful smells. It was so impossible to make a decision with all treats seeming like they were yelling at me but instead of using words they used their smell and said "pick me, pick me!" They were taunting me. Sophie nudged me trying to tell me to hurry up. I finally ended with my favorite, a long john donut.
We wander around eating or new goods and then somehow ended up home. She and I waited on the porch while the wind blew through our hair making it impossible to see and eat.
Our parent’s burst open the door almost throwing it off the hinges it lied on. They stomped though the door and outside screaming for Sophie and they didn’t sound happy. She stumbled up to the door where they yanked her in making her lose her balance. She moved her hands in a motion telling me in a language that only her and I knew to wait outside because something bad was about to happen and she didn’t want me in the midst of that storm. So, like a good, disobedient sister I went inside to see the drama which was a horrible idea. The next things that occurred were so comprehensible that even I couldn’t make sense to them to this day. All that happen was my parents yelling at my sister for nonsense and things that we could just move past, but I guess my sister had enough of the ridiculous accusations. I think it was the last straw for Sophie, because as soon as she could, she bolted past them and ran upstairs and back down them quickly without missing a step. She had It seemed she had packed before, with her backpack and small purse, she blasted through the door and out into the wild (well...actually, just outside).
This leads us to the beginning of the story when I was trying to chase Sophie. I wanted to go with her. I didn’t want to be stuck in a place where every day I saw things that reminded me of her. The place she had left me was even more unbearable with her only gone for a few seconds and tension kept rising. So I did what any normal person would do...chase after her. But that of course leads to me burying my head in my knees trying to blame this whole mess on myself. I was lost in my thoughts and confused at the world. Things were different and could never go back to normal. Things would seem normal at school but at home everything would be a never-ending battle with me and my parents.
So this happened over a year ago. Things at my house really haven’t changed. I have tried to put this in my past and keep living, my parents sadly have not. Every time the subject of my sister comes up they shoot it down with hateful comments and yell at me for answers about why she left (she now only talks to me in my family and sometimes my grandmother). But really, how would I know? But sometimes I wonder maybe if this was the best for her and everyone. Now she is not harassed by our parents and now the relationship between us is stronger because now I truly understand how much she really loves me. That one day now has changed every day for me; things would never me “normal” again.