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This Is It

This Is It

By Sierrapreciado

It just all really sucks you know? Because I shouldn’t compare myself to those that are around me. But I can’t help but notice how some girls catch your eye. How some just instantly make you look down and smile, how some can make you blush faster then what I can. I know that I’m not the prettiest, or the skinniest, or the nicest. But Fuck dude, I’m trying here, can’t you see that? But you don’t care about that do you? You don’t care that I’m trying everything that I am mentally capable of. I wish that you did, I truly do. I wish that you saw the way I glanced at you every second that I have the chance to. I wish you knew about the hundreds of speeches I’ve created in my own head about how I’d declare my love for you to you. I wish you knew how many times I’ve opened the messages on my phone and typed in your name, and typed my apology. You don’t see the amount of times I want to cry because I see you at an event with some girl who’s not me. I wish I could tell you everything. Sweet jesus what I would do to hear you tell me you care about me, how these past few months of talking haven’t been for nothing/ that after all, it wasn’t just a sexual relationship that you wanted from me. That you talked me because you genuinely cared about me, that you wanted that real human connection. Tell me I’m not wrong. Tell me you’re a decent human. Fucking hell just tell me that you care even just a little bit to me. Even just a little.

Author Notes: Fuck I hate emotions.

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26 Aug, 2019
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