Whether we acknowledge it or not, most of us fear death. Death remains a great mystery, one of the central issues that have existed since human existence. There’s a saying, that people combat death and illnesses, but it’s not true. Once someone dies, they're gone. It’s the fall of a victim who’s gone to meet their maker, and so on. Not every moment in life is perfect, there are some that remain a mystery for centuries, such as where does the spirit go after death? What’s afterlife? These and so many other unanswered questions lurk within our minds. It brings a sinister feeling inside of you, warning you not to move along.
It was one of those days, the feeling within you that something is going to happen, something bad. There was just a sad feeling of unforgetfulness. I was sitting on my blue velvet couch by my bedroom window, staring at the sky where the dark grey clouds still loomed overhead, creating a dark grey blanket blocking out the bright light of the moon. The rain poured down heavily, knocking against the window. Then boom, I heard above me, the thunder sounding like a volcano, ready to erupt. No one ever navigates through the streets alone in the dark when it’s raining, it’s the place where a sea of shadows sweeps into every corner creating, a sinister sensation behind your back. The wind continued howling into the dark stormy night, the rain continued pouring along with my tears, which were flooding one by one onto my lap, I looked down at my lap, looking at the photo I was holding. A picture of my grandpa. It was a Tuesday, March 10th. It was a normal day, except that the sky was not bright and sunny like the other days, it was different today, more of a gloomy and dark atmosphere. It was going to start raining any minute now, I thought to myself, and to my surprise, I got what I expected the first dot of rain splashed onto the window and the 2nd, 3rd, 4th and so on… until the whole window was congested, full of raindrops in every shape and sizes. I stared down at the window in awe. It was something I loved doing, it came in my genes from my dad who also got it from my grandpa, I tried to remember what my grandpa used to say. Whenever you feel sad about something just look at the rain, that drizzles from high above the sky and start counting, and as slowly as an hour hand your emotions will flood away. Standing up, I got ready, throwing things into a bag, and holding that bag with one hand, an umbrella in the other, rushing outside. The moment I stepped outside, I felt the drizzle of the rain kissed my cheeks, pouring down heavily. Drip. Drip. The raindrops flowed, the trees danced with the wind, swaying with the beat of nature. I opened up my umbrella and started walking through the murky water. Finally reaching the bus stop, I walked my way into the bus sitting beside my friend Ashley, who seemed helplessly staring at the window miserably. She looked up to where I was sitting and said,
But from the way she said hi was not her usual tone, it just didn’t suit her, Ashley was always enthusiastic.
“What happened Ashley?”
“Nothing,” was her reply back.
I knew something was wrong, but I didn’t bug her about it, because sometimes people need their own time and space, I know I do.
The bus ride was unintentionally long today, due to the fact that it wasn’t loud and obnoxious like every other day. Everyone was quiet, the mood fits quite well with the cloudy weather outside.
I sat down in my science class, and the usual teachings had begun such as stuff about electricity, planets… I was going to state many more but I was interrupted by the sound of my teacher Mrs.Lown asking me a question.
“Eleanor! Why don’t you tell me what the solar system is ?”
I didn’t know the answer to that. It seemed like I was busy daydreaming while my teacher was having a class discussion about the solar system.
“Uhhhh,” I don’t know,” I stammered
“That’s why you pay attention,” she answered, and just like that the class erupted into laughter.
I was in my second last class before the end of the day, Psyd class or DPA(Daily Physical Activity)is what they call it in elementary school when the announcements told me to go to the office for an important call from home. Walking my way to the office, I kept wondering what was the matter?, What happened? I picked up the phone call. It was my mom she told me to wait outside, she told me that it was an emergency and that my dad was coming to pick me up.I tried asking her what was the emergency? But she told me she would tell me when I get there. Still wondering I went back.
My mom left me in indecisiveness. I packed my bag, told the office I was leaving and waited outside. Where my dad was waiting in the blue Toyota Highlander. He took me to the hospital, walking our way to the hospital I could see the dark black ravens cawing in the distance almost as if it’s piercing wail warned me not to go inside. We both walked through the hallway, where multiple doors leading to different rooms were lined up side to side. My dad took me to a room labeled surgery room 108, as I walked inside, the bright yellow light faded away, instead, there was more of a dull orange color. I could see emerald green curtains hung up, Multiple lasers in the room used for surgery, samples of blood neatly stacked on top of each other. Huddled in the corner where all of my cousins, family, friends. Their faces collided with sadness not a single person had a face of happiness, along with my grandpa who was on a small bed covered in an oxygen mask and wrapped up in a thin white blanket. Still confused about what was going on I asked my mom what the matter was?
“Mom, what happened here? Why is everyone here? Why is grandpa on the bed?”
“Eleanor, your grandpa had a severe heart attack so we took him to the hospital, we don’t know if he is ok, we're keeping our fingers crossed and our hopes up high,” she said. I could see her brunette colored eyes getting teared up. I looked away.
Shocked from the news I could barely hold myself still.
“My grandpa has to be ok!, “He cannot leave me!”, “Grandpa has to be ok!”
I started yelling like a maniac at everyone there, not caring that I was making a total goofball of myself.
My eyes starting to water, my face becoming red as a tomato. Everyone kept making me calm down but I couldn’t stop, I couldn't hold myself still. In a while, the doctor came in and we all rushed to him everyone asking him the same question If grandpa was ok? He told us that my grandpa was diagnosed with severe heart cancer and was near the edge of death, he told us that they tried everything they could, But grandpa had a severe lack of immunity. No one would believe him at first and then suddenly everyone was paralyzed by the unexpected regret. Before the few minutes left before he was going to pass away, everyone broke into tears crying an ocean of tears. It was me who was sad the most because my whole life was influenced by him. My grandpa was my best friend. If I was the home, he was the rooftop that supported me. He was the only one who cared about me. He was my favorite. There were only a few minutes left before he would pass away, I looked to where my grandpa was. My face all red flushed from tears of sadness, I could see him trying to say something, but couldn't hear what it was. So I kneeled down closer to where he was and put my ear closer to his mouth. Before he passed away I heard him say his last few words. It was quote recited by a famous poet James M.Barrie.
“ Let no one who loves me,”
“Unreturned has its rainbow,”
And just like that, he died. Leaving all the grateful memories we had with him. He has now gone to meet his maker for eternity. Everyone was quiet then, not a voice or peep heard it was just dull and quiet. I couldn't bear seeing my grandpa die like that. Angry,and frustrated I ran outside, I ran and ran like the wind ,the rain still pouring down heavily,but I didn’t care I had only one thing in my mind which kept repeating itself my grandpa cannot die, he cannot die, I felt tears dropping joining the raindrops that fell to the ground. Tired from running I sat down at a nearby bench still crying and screaming in frustration. I thought to myself about the poem my grandpa once told me when I was little and was crying rivers of tears,
The rain falls Because of the clouds
Can no longer handle the weight
The tears fall because
The heart can no longer
Handle the pain
I never really understood what it meant when I was small, but now I do. It meant that like your tears the clouds can’t hold its rain either, your tears need a way to knock out its pain and the clouds need a way to knock out its weight of the rain, so that’s why both your tears and clouds cry. Still sitting at the bench, I sit back and I think to myself wondering deep in my thoughts reviving all the great memories I once had with him, that now will be treasured deep inside, close to my heart. I close eyes feeling the dots of rain bounce unto my eyelids and think of what will help us move on in life after the death of a loved one? What will helps us to move on is to think of what a wonderful person our loved one was, and at first, all the memories we have, even happier ones, are going to be painful...very painful…,and eventually life keeps moving and suddenly all those memories will bring a smile to our faces. I get up. My face still red from the tears that now have vanished into the air. I look at the sun and gazed at it, the Ravens weren't there anymore. Just the sound of hummingbirds chirping beautifully a song. I slowly walk towards the hospital recalling my grandpa's, last few words.
Author Notes: please be free to comment on this story and pls tell me what I should write about next or if this needs editing.