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Unknown Place
Unknown Place

Unknown Place


Diary entry Day 1:
I have been on the train for about 2 days now, to this unknown place. I was slowly regretting running away because the road was not looking too good or any better than where I was before. I had hoped the conditions would be better because I was tired of my past life and the abuse from my ex-husband. I needed to finally step up and do better for me and my family, all I was searching for was freedom. My daughter and I have struggled these past years and settling down was my priority. Everything was going pretty well despite the fact the connection cut out a couple of miles back. I assumed it would return in no time, so I had nothing to worry about. I felt confident in moving because I had some family waiting for me in Massachusetts that we would stay with until we got our own place. It's been a long tiring journey but we're ready to start over.
Diary entry Day 2:
It's the crack of dawn and we finally arrived at our destination. We grab our luggage, which was barely any, and start heading out of the bus. When the door opens I grab Jane's hand and are met by 3 men in soldier-type costumes ambushing us with questions. I look down at my phone to see if I finally got my service back to call my aunt. To my surprise, all I see is “No Service”. One of the men told me that I must come with them and give my daughter to his partner; this is where it gets intense. I begin to scream and shout but none of that matters. I'm thrown into a van and my daughter is nowhere to be seen. The only thing I see are these men sitting in the back of the van with me but all I feel is heartbreak and the emptiness of not having my daughter. The ride there is quite short but my worries about my daughter makes it feel like I was in there forever. We make a sudden stop and I can hear a gate opening up. I get dragged out of the van and enter a building that looks like a big house. I get assigned into a room and get told to change, I stare at the red dress sitting on the bed. I have never been more confused in my life and my anxiety is through the roof. About ten minutes pass and an older lady comes in and explains to me I'm in Gilead and my job is now to be a handmaid. My only responsibility is to carry the children for other women. How will I ever be able to do that while my daughter is somewhere out there, alone? We have never been apart for more than a couple of hours. How will we survive without each other?
Diary entry Day 3:
Days have gone by and it's not getting any easier. I try to go on with my days, do what they tell me to do. Talk to the other women, go out to the store, go on walks, try to keep my mind on what is happening around me but as you can imagine it's impossible. I have lost count of the days at this point and my faith is running low. I miss my daughter more than anything in life. I miss her more than freedom, something I've never had and now I don't have her either. The regret I felt on the train is all I think about, I should have listened to myself and turned around before it was too late. I now stand here in this world alone with very little faith that I will be able to leave. It seems impossible to escape and freedom is not something we'll ever have around here. All I can do si hope my daughter is doing okay and stay alive in hopes maybe, just maybe one day ill get the chance to leave. I have not given up on you Jane, but mommy is starting to break.

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About This Story
25 Mar, 2022
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