what i used to think

i used to think i was cool. i used to think i was a badass. i used to think people were afraid of me. i used to think i was strong(emotionally,mentally,and physically.). i used to think i was tough. but im not any of those things. Im a loser. Im a coward. Im afraid of others. Im weak. Ill never be what i want; beautiful, tall, skinny,tan,cool, popular, strong, and most of all happy. i wish i had friends i wish people could see who i am because in the end im not that bad. Im nice, i try to help as much as i can , i listen,and i would never just abandon you. See ive learned a lot of life lessons in the past couple years. 1st not everyone is going to accept you, 2nd its okay to be different, 3rd friends come and go like the seasons change. 4th you have to learn to fend for yourself meaning be independent. Now some people may say they need people they can depend on and stuff dont get me wrong i love having a couple of close friends and richard of course but the reason im usually so mean or the reason i dont tell them much is because im so scared that one day theyll just leave so i distance myself making sure we arent to close so it doesnt affect me that much even though we all know it will affect me the most. im used to having not a lot of friends but last year at the beginning i had all the friends in the world but now theyre gone. in the end it doesnt really matter(metallica lyrics) because were all just obeying the master pulling our strings(more metallica lyrics). Just remember to be who you are dont let anyone tell you who or what to be because someday youll over power them and theyll be the ones getting pushed around so stay strong <3

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