Who Am I?

When I look in the mirror, I don't see myself...

I see a sad lonely person with a heart as cold as a winter storm, ready to destroy anything in its path.

Is that me?

It can't be.

Am I as cruel and heartless as they say?

Am I living a lie?

A world, filled with deception and blindness.

So blind that I can't even see the real me.

All of these emotions running through my head.

Which are real? Which are deceiving me?

All of these emotions running through my veins.

Sadness, anger, nervousness, anxiety, regret.

Has my heart really darkened?

Has my soul found its burial?

Has my brain gone to mush?

What is happening?

My mind is filled with questions among questions.

But where are the answers?

I search and search.

But there is no map to guide me.

So I search alone, blindly.

Unable to see.

Trying to find my treasure chest of answers.

When I used to look in the mirror...

I saw a kind, gentle girl, with a heart of gold.

She never let anyone keep her away from her desires.

She pushed fear away and welcomed courage to her doorstep.

She loved everyone and everything.

Where did she go?

What happened to her?

She was criticized, tormented, just because she wanted to be herself.

People didn't like the fact that she enjoyed wearing makeup.

They didn't like her wearing dresses.

They didn't like that she wanted to braid her long hair and wear ribbons on the braids.

They wanted her to cut her hair short.

They wanted her to wear jeans and collared shirts.

They wanted her to like the outdoors and play football.

They didn't want her to be herself.

Why was this?

What did she do wrong?

Now my hair is short,

I wear jeans,

collared shirts,

I don't wear makeup,

and I listen to everything they say.

I am their puppet and they're the puppeteers.

But I'm tired of it!

If I want to be a girl! Then why can't I!?

If they don't accept me for me, then I'll just have to accept myself.

I don't care if they want me to be a boy!

Now I can look in the mirror...

Now I see that girl again.

That kind, gentle-hearted girl that everyone loves.

Now I can smile and think...

"This is me. My name is Fiona Derekson...and I'm transgender."

Author Notes: This little story is for all of you in the lgbtq+ community, be yourselves, accept yourselves, and so will everyone else, we can get through this together. One step at a time.

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