Words are like razors,
The more you say,
The more it hurts
And the more it hurts,
deeper It gets
The deeper it gets,
The more pain I feel
As the pain gets stronger…
I start to say less
I start to distant myself socially and mentally
I say to you…,
I hate that I love you
I hate my emotions
I hate everything…
And that’s because of you
You left me because you were scared.
You are the reason I am hurt,
You are the reason I have trust issues.
You hate me… even though you said you loved me
And now when someone says “I love you” to me,
I say to them that it feels like no one loves me
I overthink because of you.
I have been hurt in the past,
And you still put me through hell,
You broke me not once
not twice, but three times.
You expect me to forgive you,
Even after you hurt me….no
You keep on saying how I messed up,
But you were the one who really messed up
You used me to get to mom
you lied to me
you said you wanted to be there
if you wanted to be there
where were you the past 14 years
All you had to say was I wasn’t good enough for you
You said you never loved me,
You told me that you never wanted me
You told me I wasn’t worth the space or time
You made me call you dad
You are far from a father
A father doesn’t just leave his child because he was scared
He watches his child grow up and helps them through the paths they need help with,
you made me choose the most difficult path there is.
You tried turning me against my mother.
You tore me to shreds.
You said I would be the reason you kill your self
You said I was better off dead…
Well guess what you killed me on the inside.
You told me to go,
But where am I supposed to go?
If anyone should go it’s you.
I ask one more time…
where are you?
nowhere to be found.
but you know what,
I don’t need you,
I don’t love you,
I don’t miss you,
I don’t want to see you anymore.
if you don't want to be around then fine.
I'm tired of fighting for you to stay,
I'm tired of loving you,
I'm tired of you always walking away from me.
You through me away like I was nothing.
That same night the razor went deeper and deeper
You got a call the next day saying that there’s something wrong.
You hung up the phone and couldn’t believe words could hurt so much.
You wished you could say your sorry
You cared when it was too late… goodbye