We lay in the tall soft lush green grass, gazing at the clouds in the comfortable summers day. The sun acts like a blanket to us, but you, you glow as beautiful as the sun. You are my sun. "That looks like a bus following a kangaroo." You say.
I flip over and take in how amazing you are. From your looks to your personality. I'm amazed at how much you mean to me. You still do and I love every aspect about you.
"Colin." You turn to me, I loose my words when your eyes meet mine. When I look away they flow right back, "I just want to let you know that I love you more than I can put in to words. The days we spent together were amazing and I don't want to stop the days ahead together. Yes, we had our share of bad days, but those days don't override the good. They never can because they don't put a smile on our faces, do they?"
"No. No, they don't." You answer back. You take my hand and I squeeze yours to let you know I'm not letting go of you that easily.
I look in to your gorgeous brown eyes and continue, "We spent almost four years of our lives together and I want to continue my journey with you. We already talked about living together, getting married, and having our 'Halle Berry' kids," you chuckle. "I don't know if you still want those things but I sure as hell do."
"Why? Why me?" You ask.
"Why not you, Colin? I've been fighting with you, for you, and over you. I haven't lost a battle yet. Well, maybe one. But we both know my parents are assholes, right?" I watch you nod. "Well, that's not an excuse. The bad days we encountered, aren't an excuse either. We still have our whole lives to be together and I honestly can't imagine living it without you or having sex with anyone but you. I'm 19 and you're almost 20. We're young but I'm not too young to know who I want in my life and who I don't want. Our parents can try to keep us apart all they want, but they can't keep our hearts apart. You can have your doubts, too. But I can prove you wrong and change. Honestly I can."
I pull out a piece of grass with my other hand and fondle it. I wait for you to say something. Anything. I would kill to hear your voice again.
"I just...." I look at our hands entwined together, your grip loosens. "I can't trust you."
I slowly take my hand away and rip up the piece of grass, that symbolically means my heart. I toss the pieces in the summer breeze and watch my heart fly away. "You say you'll stop over and over again then it happens again."
"And you don't think I feel the same way when you get mad at me when I'm with my friends or family? You even get jealous of my own family cause I'm with them. I text you, call you, and see you more then anyone. Even my family! I even told Rah I care about you more then I do them. I sure as hell showed it, too. Then you get mad that I fall asleep. You could have fell asleep with me."
I sigh, "But that shit doesn't matter. Because I still love you unconditionally. I always have and always will. Like I said before, we come across bumps, as always, and we get over them together. As always. The good days we shared are welcomed back if you want them to come back. Though, I'll welcome you back any day, no matter what."
I take you hand and give it a kiss. It's something a guy would do, but I've been waiting for you to hold me. At least you held my hand, the least I can do at a time like this is to return the favor.
I give myself a look over and notice a piece of the grass I ripped up is on my leg.
Through all this breeze, it still held on. Just like our love.
I take it up in my hands and I hold on it for dear life because I don't want it to be gone.
I get up and walk away. I glance at you one more time because if the sun leaves, my whole life will be dark and cold again. You are the only person that cares about me and loved me the way you did. If the sun leaves, how will I survive?