AaronTheRocker

Yeah.... uhhh... that's some serious stuff. Physical and mental damage right there. Wounds may heal, but scars remain.

The part that got to me was,
"I hope you had fun,
while I was your game"
That just put in image in my head of a predator and prey situation, like a house cat playing with a mouse.

Stating a conflict- personal in manner- with a resolution. Respect.

Yo, this is fantastic writing!

I've never experienced these types of events, but from what I hear there is always, as you have written, 'the Don'. Someone who knows it all and sits in their ivory tower of some sort.

The passage when Don articulated the wine saying, "full bodied...just about acceptable." I thought the same thing being, "what the hell does 'full body' mean?"

Some of those foods your mentioned, just the names of them sound astonishing to taste buds.

The flow was decent, variety of vocabulary, great aspect of comedy and truth- just a notable read.

Rocky Balboa I read.

Respect.

Usually I have a speech written out when I comment on your works. This time I don't.
Not that I don't have words for you, but I believe that music can be the messenger - it's certainly stronger and more unique when put up against my words.

Two songs came to mind when I read your work.
I hope you take a listen to and find what you are looking for and encapture it in yourself.

Queensryche - Someone Else?
Glenmore - Take On A Shining Star

Not too shabby. Not too shabby.

For structure it is pretty good. Have the description of glass and the variations of each shattered piece in a unique and humanistic way.
I sense that it could be more concise. To get the words to stick some lines could be shortened such as an example,
"Some are bright and warm and happy
Some are alive, some are dead"

It could be,
"Some bright, warm, happy
Some alive, dead"

I think that would age well making it shorter with no filler or extra words.

To your point imaging yourself as shattered glass, along with the last two lines, it's relatable to the masses. Feeling useless ourself, but useful for others. Maybe we serve our purpose to serve others and not ourselves. Maybe we desire the want of approval from others, but tear ourselves down. Maybe we see more faith in others for the unknown compared to one's self?

See and hear it all the time. Stories of those who have fallen in despair and wretchedness in society, but still lend grace and help to those in need. It doesn't even have to be drastic. Just donating a couple of bucks when we/you are in a financial bind or volunteering at a food pantry is a difference of help.

So why help others when one's self could be or is lost?
Makes you feel good? Think good karma is on the way? Gain attention and approval? Make the world a lively place? Respect for others? Been in a similar situation?

I'm not sure. It's not for me to say. But I'm sure the individual doing such has a clearer answer.

As a former high-school student myself, this is relatable. This is literally how most students think and act.

The flow is pretty gnarly. Even with the skips in ideas it works well because it comes together in a big "resolution", if you will, of everything.