United States • 22 y/o • MaleReviews Given
Yo, this is fantastic writing!
I've never experienced these types of events, but from what I hear there is always, as you have written, 'the Don'. Someone who knows it all and sits in their ivory tower of some sort.
The passage when Don articulated the wine saying, "full bodied...just about acceptable." I thought the same thing being, "what the hell does 'full body' mean?"
Some of those foods your mentioned, just the names of them sound astonishing to taste buds.
The flow was decent, variety of vocabulary, great aspect of comedy and truth- just a notable read.
Yeah.... uhhh... that's some serious stuff. Physical and mental damage right there. Wounds may heal, but scars remain.
The part that got to me was,
"I hope you had fun,
while I was your game"
That just put in image in my head of a predator and prey situation, like a house cat playing with a mouse.
Stating a conflict- personal in manner- with a resolution. Respect.
Respectable concept to a story of a classic horror style. "Re imagination" and "Mashup" would be what I perceive of this story being in similar relation of Alvin Schwartz's 'Scary Stories To Tell In The Dark' with the short story Headlights, and having a unique twist to the backstory at the end of the writing in which I thought of 'Texas Chainsaw Massacre'.
Quite a few grammatical errors and having the story flow fast threw me off a bit- didn't really get to sink my mind into the story until the ending with backstory of it all which was pretty cool to read.
This is certainly a different and unique way to view parenthood. Straight out of the gate it had the dispositions of how a child came about whether out of wedlock, infidelity, rape, pure love. And it's not only that which is seen in a child, but also what a parent does because kids are impressionable, especially at a young age. We in general, not just parents, are guilty of such legacy wanted to leave behind. I'm sure every person who has been brought onto this earth has at least one trait similar to their parents. That would be the legacy left on.
This also goes into not just abstract ideas such as the legacy, but also the physical beings like sleepless nights and grey hairs with worry lines. All that effort, money and time spent with a child is excruciating and consuming of an individual. It's as if a parent does live the life of a child being concerned and catering for their needs. The question is whether it is more for the needs of the child or the parent. Because in the end, are we afraid of what we left behind? I'm sure we have regrets so...
Love the flow, love the choice of vocab, overall idea is phenomenal and brought attention to question such thought.
Astounding. Striking. Stupefying. Breathtaking- just a few words to describe this.
The symbolism of butterfly kisses and it's fragility to the human condition is oh so beautiful in connection. From emotion to events and interactions of peers to the mental state of one's being, it wraps together like a blanket. Also, not to mention, that you took characteristics of red and blue symbolism (tears and blood) to create a hopeful loving color of purple (a kiss).
Personally, I'd recommend for a more noteworthy of a read (not that it isn't) would be to confront a certain passage.
"The thunder of their screams
Humanity is being torn apart
Excruciatingly"
Sort of took a step off the path. Although it followed the theme and idea of the writing, those lines seemed to "veer" a little from the flow, but none the less went back on after. Just my personal take.
Can't wait to see what other material you may put out.
Gotta say I never had that red "romantic magic marker" on any sheet, nor did I want that either.
A fine story indeed.
Oh, this was beautifully put. Total agreement with you, Walsh and many others.
To add on, this whole 'pro-reassignment' side seems to have a conflict of interest being that they also push the 'love your body' ideal. I'm not sure what's 'loving' in cutting your body, mutilating natural healthy parts and reconstructing yourself with permanent scars, high-risk for infection and let alone led to believe- escape reality in a fantasy that you are something you are not.
The whole topic is absurd. The fact western civilization has to place restrictions and bans for these invasive surgeries on minors because it has been pushed as "truth" and "helpful" by social media says a lot in how degenerated we've become as a society.
Hell of a story ya got here. Reminds me of an in-depth interview like on 60 minutes and 20/20.
Not much repetition in terms of adjectives and verbs, but mostly consisted words that most books wouldn't have which deserves an astounding (or what you might call, 'elephantine, copious, monumental') round of applause.