United Kingdom • 65 y/o • MaleReviews Received
the title the end all just falls in place.Maybe you can add a bit more description...maybe he can go through what happened during the day and the suspense can be that hes the one who is going to die.Just a random though that i got after reading the story .....:) but overall it was good
A very familiar story, I'm sure, for all dog owners. You captured one of the most pleasurable chores of dog ownership very well. :)
I enjoy this story because of how smooth the words flow together. Great job!
Well versed piece that flows with pain of another
just saying if you are going for the 100 word story thing this is 101 words but still I love the message!
nicely woven ink number two repetitive wording would need a change takes away from the piece but over all good Haikus
Well that was a twist, que the random employee with a camera.
Not sure what to make of this ... The theme shows some promise, but I had a hard time getting past the first section because of the author's habitual overuse of modifiers and stilted dialogue. For example: "Never could I have imagined so many children in one place and not hear one giggle or peal of laughter or not see one cheeky grin or shy smile!" For my part, I could never imagine someone actually talking like that. Then in the last part of the story, the attacker's language is a phonetic caricature of a dialect. It draws attention to itself rather than suggests a manner of speaking. I understand that this story is "to be continued," but I'm afraid this isn't an encouraging installment.