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apemann's Profile

Andy (Formerly Apemann)

apemann is from GB United Kingdom • 63 y/o • Male

Writer, story-teller, reader, dog-lover and humourist!

Reviews Given

Villain Victory by TheForgotten

Yes, a classic case of being careful what you wish for...

A well told tale with a couple of bumpy grammatical errors along the way '(ingenuous' is used in the wrong context: ingenious might have been more accurate; 'inhabitance' in this context is wrong: habitation would have been more appropriate)

Another enjoyable offering overall. Well done :-)

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There Will Be No Miracles by Victor Reigns

Terrific!

Many will relate to your words, especially the more world-weary amongst us I suspect...

Great stuff. I look forward to more from you in due course.

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Faded Love by Sam Tyler

As previously mentioned, the use of expletives can be a powerful tool - in the right circumstances. For me, the use in this poem makes you sound petulant stroppy. Your words would have had more impact without the expletives, showing a level of control and maturity that it sounds like you were aiming for...

Take care with the words you use and when and how you use them. You have a good enough vocabulary that should preclude the necessity for you to revert to crudity to get your point across. You are a good writer; believe in yourself and your language skills :-)

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The Little Boy And The Clouds by PoeticT

Ah, just the thing to put a smile on anybody's face. Terrific.

Please be careful with your spelling...

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The Springs of Ein Gedi by Hobo

A really nicely written piece... but to what end? I am at a loss to grasp what was the point of what I have just read other than as a sort-of travelogue to the place you describe (in nice detail, too)

To my thinking, this is not a story, per se; more of a memento of a particular event and as such does not really hit the mark I would have expected. In saying that, though, you write wonderfully descriptive prose. I would hope to see that talent turned towards more 'conventional' (if I may put it that way) fiction pieces?

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Green Bin One by Nathan M Green

Oh JOY!

At last, a contribution that actually ticks all the boxes it promises to. Thank you!

I enjoyed your slightly warped and tongue-in-cheek humour in the story and the contemporary references (which our overseas cousins may not connect with...) Above all, though, you made me SMILE, and that doesn't happen very often with most of what I read here...

I'm very much looking forward to many more of your stories. Can I nominate myself as your No. 1 fan already??? :-)

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Fireborne Maiden - Part 2 by Michael T Burr

I really wanted to enjoy your story... but you lost my concentration with your tedious and repetitive and excruciatingly tiresome description of her work with the ball in paragraphs two and three. This is definitely a case of far too much information for information's sake. There are other examples throughout your work, which really detracts from your story, which is a real pity. You could have covered almost all of those two paragraphs in half-a-dozen sentences without detriment to your story.

May I suggest a thorough re-read of both parts and some judicious editing to make the whole more palatable and reader-friendly? It's a good piece of work that has been somewhat damaged (not ruined!) by a dose of verbosity taking over in places. It is not irredeemable :-)

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Vivid Rainbows Were Eroding From His Palms by PoeticT

Whilst I appreciate the somewhat surrealist and esoteric nature of your work, the use of incorrect words and bad spelling is inexcusable ('there' instead of 'their' for instance) .To 'erode' means to rub or wear away; how does that word fit in with your poem???

It's all very well being clever and arty - but you still have to do the basics right.

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