Andy (Formerly Apemann)

Simple, bittersweet and touching. Well done :-)

Simple, effective and well presented. Good stuff!

Sometimes a hug is just about all you need to set your world to rights. I relate to your poem strongly - as will many others I'm sure :-)

There is a great deal of emotion and passion in your poem. You have expressed them well. Some of the lines are perhaps a little convoluted and 'forced', but the whole is better then some of its parts :-) I hope to read more from you soon!

The 'cuteness' factor of your story is what saves this from being just another mundane story about getting old. It is well told with a touch of humour and maybe a little pathos, too?

One or two punctuation and spelling errors mar your piece, especially the use of 'ipad'. Please ensure you check your work thoroughly before submission. Other than that minor criticism a very creditable effort :-)

Good atmosphere, enough suspense and tension to keep the reader hooked into the story. All-in-all a creditable beginning to your story :-)

A really nicely written piece... but to what end? I am at a loss to grasp what was the point of what I have just read other than as a sort-of travelogue to the place you describe (in nice detail, too)

To my thinking, this is not a story, per se; more of a memento of a particular event and as such does not really hit the mark I would have expected. In saying that, though, you write wonderfully descriptive prose. I would hope to see that talent turned towards more 'conventional' (if I may put it that way) fiction pieces?

Ah, just the thing to put a smile on anybody's face. Terrific.

Please be careful with your spelling...