United Kingdom • 65 y/o • MaleReviews Given
A surprisingly poignant and hard-hitting story which is well told. A very good job overall. Sure, there are one or two minor errors in spelling and grammar, but nothing that seriously detracts from the story. Well done!
Simple, heartfelt and so typically you!
Nice one, hon...
This is good :-)
Just a simple thing to note: if you're going to leave dots at the end of a sentence the norm is to leave three...
Overall, a really good effort.
A good story well told... although your 'brief' introduction took away some of the suspense. The idea of that section to give a general idea of your story in JUST A FEW WORDS, not explain what is coming in detail.
I would also suggest that with a piece this long that you submit it as two of three parts. It is unlikely that many people will make the effort - or even have the time - to spend reading such a long story in one sitting, whereas they will more likely read it in 'bite-size' chunks.
Overall, though, an interesting and entertaining effort.
This poem was written by one Cheryl L. Costello-Forshey in 1998. The following link will take you to more info about her:
http://cherylcostelloforshey.com/about_the_author/index.html
As I am a devotee of the last line's life philosophy I should live to a ripe old age!
Good fun!
This was an interesting story - until the unnecessary last line. For me, it completely killed the tension and drama of what had gone previously, which is a real shame. On the whole, though, an engaging submission.
This is an interesting idea for a story. There are faults with it (punctuation, spelling, etc.) that with some careful editing can be corrected to make this into the fabulous story it deserves to be.