United States • 76 y/oReviews Received
Too disjointed and needs editing. Has some great descriptions such as hourglass figure with lots of sand on top.
The narrative read like a 1940’s-50’s B dective movie with Robert Mitchum .
Ignoring the fact that you ignored several of the site's Submission Guidelines (may I suggest that you actually read them..?) you have a nice flair for telling an engaging story. Your characters are a little shallow in places and some of the dialogue is a tad stilted, but that's okay. The overall impression was positive. Iron out the presentation errors and you'll have a great piece of work :-)
Great writing. One of the more honest i’ve Read.
I hope you and Martha are together and happy
I loved it! Very well written, think it's interesting that it comes from personal experience as well!
If I'd been a conscript, I'm pretty sure I'd have been the guy who got killed by his own grenade.
I'm so sorry!
Ben Brown
A great piece of writing. Most humorous. Well done.