Australia • 24 y/o • FemaleReviews Received
I LOVE THIS. ITS AMAZING. I understand how you feel. The first person who ever shattered my heart was my mom but i don't think that counts. The first guy that ever broke my heart meant so much to me. He was literally the only thing that was keeping me alive. I battle bi polar, and he was the only thing keeping me from killing myself. When he left me i didn't know what to do. I didn't eat for 12 days, i didn't leave my room for 7 weeks and i cut deeper and deeper every night. I want you to know that you aren't alone. If you ever want to harm yourself, message me and i will be able to help. I know from experience. It hurts more that it helps. The pain you feel is only temporary. It will go away eventually. I know trust me.
I agree with the other reviewers, but I feel that an admission of your own (understandable) naiveté would have made it truly complete. Good job, though.
This is excellent but you do have some spelling mistakes. Other than that, it's great stuff.
WOW - for fifteen years old, this author does and amazing job. The story feels utterly plausible. The writing is fluent and readable. The vocabulary is varied and appropriate. The style of expression perfectly captures the narrator's tone. This author is a good storyteller and should do well if they pursue a writing career.
The structure of this piece is not quite what it should be. The author needs to read this piece aloud or have it read. Those areas that need attention will show up. There are too may words that run together and need to be spaced properly. Proofing is the bane of a writer's life but it is something that needs to be acquired for success. I'm giving this piece 3 stars. It deserves 4 except for the housecleaning that needs to be done. Good job - keep writing, Ciao, JT
Your story was very well written. Keep writing
It was an intriguing and, for the most part, well-put together story. The trauma was well portrayed. Nice job.