United States • 36 y/oReviews Received
There are many issues with your story. You have tried far too hard with it instead of sticking to the basics. All that you are left with is a mishmash of badly conceived and executed ideas. However, everybody has to start somewhere and I would hope that you will continue to write as you will improve the more you do so.
Damn that was powerful. The twist at the end got me good. Great story!
I just cried!! There were a few grammar errors, but those can be fixed easily. I have experiance with heartbreak, and the twist at the end left me heartbroken. I actually miss the narrator!
It might be me just being too attached to reading and books. I really want to hear more from you!
Thank you so much!