IanG

Its good that you're self-critical, if you want to be a writer that's a hopeful sign. I think you improved as the piece went on.

This is nostalgic, plausible and, I suspect, angry under the surface. Similar scenarios are playing out all over the world, including my native U.K. Well done.

I'm glad they took in the cat, they did right there.

A lighthearted but interesting idea. This should go down well with youngsters at Christmas.

Being self-critical is usually good, it spurs us on to do the best we can. The trouble is society and peer group pressure can set impossibly high expectations, and that can lead to mental health issues. Going too far one way or another is easy, but it isn't always easy to strike a balance between trying too hard and giving up.

You describe the setting very well and the banter reads plausible. If you develop it further, show how distraught your protagonists family are at her disappearence. That adds emotional richness and credibilitu.

There's a lot of truth in this.

I'd say you're off to a good start. I'd have cut 'forever' from the description of the fireflies. All you need is 'reminder' and their flashes don't last forever. Even so, you made me wonder what the boy was doing out there when he should've been indoors, and your other descriptions are good. its worth carrying on with it.