Kat

I fell in love with the idea of the story, but there are a few things you might want to work on. Some of the sentences aren't grammatically correct (Ex. Loving you, made me hate myself).
I think that finding a different way of saying "I fell in love with," would make it seem a lot more interesting and make the reader want to read more.
This is a great start and I can't wait to hear more from you!

It's great. The ending is fine the way it is, but there are some parts that seem a little choppy or out of place. Doing great!

Pretty good, but I propose use of the ';' in the beginning. What should've taken it's place was the '-', which would signal that the narrator was adding on a peice of information.
Nice work!

I agree with your response to Appeman. Sometimes critism can take a sharp turn, stab you in the back, and leave you bleeding inside.
Besides a few grammar errors, it's great! I wanna hear a ton more from this! It's a great start! Please, please, please continue!!!!
-KP

Great, but the while clothes and knee-highs were a little confusing. Was Karen'a clothes not exceptable? Was it a uniform? Had Karen soilded her pants?
Sounds awesome! Hope you continue!
-KP

Loved it! Please write more! There were some confusing grammar situations in the second paragraph, but besides that, I think you did pretty well!
Keep in touch
-KP

There were a few grammar mistakes, like "seen" instead of "see," and you forgot to end the part where the narrator speaks with the ", but besides that is was beautiful and amazing. I hope you write more

I loved it!! I really want to hear more! How did the diseasestart? How could he remember loathing strawberries and not his children? What happened to his wife, parents, what did the worms look like?
I really like asking questions. You don't at all have to answer them at all. I'm just a question-er.