United States • 23 y/oReviews Received
This hurts even more than Grief hurt me
Why must you do this
yes, i quite enjoy this.
please don't stop writing- i need stuff like this to binge-read. <3
I don't think the descriptions are excessive at all, I think you did exactly what you set out to do: create an incredibly detailed picture of the world. I'm not sure I've ever had text give me such a clear picture of a scene as this did. Heck, even most videos don't provide so clear a picture, and they can literally show you a picture. There's a nice sense of time and space as well, like you just spent most of the day casually wandering alone in the forest.
Perhaps I might say there are too many different types of trees, which might be what could give the impression of too much detail. Maybe stick to one or two; I think fewer species of tree would be more in line with what I seen in real forests anyway, and that gives you more room you could use to describe other things.
I would also say that the harsher elements (the thorns, the wolves, the cats) do stand out a lot against the otherwise comforting and almost idyllic world. I don't think that is a bad thing though. In fact, I think perhaps some more time spent on these elements would make it even better. Because they stand out so much, they have more meaning, and I think it would be good to capitalize on that.
An amazing piece of writing. Well done.
What the heck, why do you insist on making me cry
I really enjoyed your story. Well done.
