United States • 24 y/oReviews Received
Splendid poetry!
Simple, cute and effective. Well done!
This is a very sweet and very mature poem. Only one minor issue: the word 'farther' should be 'further'. Other than that, superb! :-)
This piece is good, but slightly spoiled by its 'wordiness'. Some of your sentences are unnecessarily wordy and over-descriptive:
"We stay up late into the night talking, confiding our secrets in each other, showing our burning desires without flinching while looking into the faces of each other's truths and faults"
This feels as though your are trying to impress readers with your vocabulary, but you don't need to. You are good enough story-teller without having to load every sentence with as many words as you can think of. Sometimes the less you write the better it reads...
Another interesting story. It has it's faults, but on the whole a good effort.