Mitzi Danielson-Kaslik

That is a sound observation. That noise is the result of attachment to samsara, so you have to take up countering meditation.

I did not realise quite how many poems you had written. Well done. Perhaps an anthology of poems could be produced? Can you tell us why the Matterhorn particularly inspirational?

It is hard to tell who is speaking in the piece, it is a common rule to break a paragraph whenever there is a new speaker. I feel that there were some details that could have been overlooked for pacing or added more detail to the setting for better atmosphere. The characterization was better though. Relationships between characters were clear; like the dynamic between Rhys and Archie and the hinted romance between the main character and Taylor. Rhys obviously the skeptical jokester and Archie the scaredy-cat. It would have been nice to see more characterization of Tayler and the main character. Also, how often one character rolled his eyes seemed repetitive and annoying; there are other ways to indicate a character is annoyed. The climax was not that satisfying, it build up to just have the spirit mis-spell devil; not that scary. The detail of how the glass shook was creepy but dragging on about how they read the letters out loud and wrote them down did not give me a sense of suspense. Instead reveal more creepy details. The plot in all was simple to understand, kids are trying to prove the existence in a paranormal being. But I wished more had happened. There was no twist or consequence, so that is why I think it is hard to pick up a theme here.