United States • 25 y/o • MaleReviews Received
That was beautiful. It was unique yet relatable, and I respect that greatly.
Even if you don't write poetry, that was great! Poems don't have to rhyme, they just have to mean something. I loved the rhythm and really think you've got this.
Thanks for the poem!
Simple, bittersweet and touching. Well done :-)
Another tiresome 'teen death' story that has been told a thousand times before on this site alone. Okay, this one is slightly above the average, but it doesn't detract from that fact that it is another entry in an over-subscribed genre.
What is so frustrating is that you are better than this. Your talents could - and should - be turned towards writing more interesting and entertaining stories than this sort of thing. Allow your mind to expand and believe in yourself and you will be a very good writer. This nonsense brings you no credit and does not do your talents justice.
I find poems like this a little annoying. Whilst I appreciate that you are expressing yourself I am not so sure it is suitable for 'mass consumption'. I am not ignorant of the effects of depression having been a sufferer for most of my life. However, I never felt the need to harm myself nor to share my pain in such a graphic and public manner.
Is this a good poem? I don't know. Being honest, I don't really care either, which is a pity as you are a good writer and have produced better work than this.
Such Sorrow is webbed within this ink, I feel the pain through your offering of ink.. some times pain makes you feel when dead inside
I understand the very personal nature of this poem. Unfortunately the way you have written it is so 'jumpy' and clunky it just does not flow properly. This makes it a difficult poem to read but - and far more importantly - the message you were trying to put across is completely lost.
In it's present layout it does not really work. This is not your finest hour :- ( I would suggest that you look at it again and re-work the poem into a more reader-friendly version.
A surprisingly poignant and hard-hitting story which is well told. A very good job overall. Sure, there are one or two minor errors in spelling and grammar, but nothing that seriously detracts from the story. Well done!