United States • 24 y/o • FemaleReviews Received
I like the role that knowledge plays as a sort of sentient thing in this story, rather than just a fact like you might expect.
To add to the mushroom conversation: I got the idea that she was just going on about something she knew, rather than meant to have any special significance. Of course, she could tell Raven about more things besides just the mushrooms, and that might make the point a little better anyway, for the story and the point Arin is trying to make. If that makes sense.
I agree with what others have said about how the shift in tone is good; it makes it feel like the story is progressing, as we start to see what some of the real issues with the characters' lives are.
I'm intrigued to learn that Raven is the only one of his kind, and I'm curious to see what happens from here.
Still like this.
This is a whole mood.
It's so strange to realize that you never do things you used to enjoy. I think maybe the best thing to do is just pick a time to try them out again; make time to see if you can still find joy in the things you like to do. And if not, well. Sleep helps. Finding people to talk to helps.
In the end I suppose it is what it is, eh?
I feel this story ðŸ‘
You know, for something not profound, this is actually pretty good. You're not wrong.
In my opinion, this is your best writing so far.
The descriptions are pretty much perfect, and the pictures they painted were pictures I've never seen before. The overall mood was amazing, and the way each twist added another emotion (I almost want to say memory, because I feel like I know this tree's home) it felt so natural, and built up so smoothly!
Stages of grief. I think you did really well. Because I didn't notice while reading, but it makes sense. I've read/seen/written things based on the stages, but it's never felt as cohesive as this, I always saw it coming. This seemed less like borrowing a structure and more like using something inherent to human experience to breathe life into your story. It's so well done!
There is one thing that broke my immersion, and that's the present/past tense... Sometimes it seemed inconsistent and made me confused about who was telling the story, and when.
But overall, this just feels right. It's so well done. I feel like the ending maybe hasn't reached its final form, but it's far from unsatisfying.
And I wish I could give it seven stars. 9.9/10