Germany • 53 y/o • MaleReviews Received
Y'all R Not reading the description that says Flashy fiction role play. It's a plot-line brainstorming sheet.
It's an Idea of writing that inspires thought and Is not considered the whole actual story, more like a list of events to play through using text speech, Like the story of the boy who wanted to become a hero.
First of all, this isn't flash fiction.
Second, I didn't get the ending. In fact, I didn't get what was going on most of the time.
Sounds like a summary of a much longer story rather than a flash story standing on its own two legs.
The thing that struck me most about this piece was the number of times you mention 'Deviancy RT' (seven). There are other ways of saying the same thing without actually saying EXACTLY the same thing.
Overall, though, the story was far too condensed and maybe a little too rushed to really work as well as you probably hoped. It needs much fleshing-out and reconsidering if you plan to add to it at a later stage.
The problem with this style of writing is that it has very limited 'audience appeal'. There is nothing wrong writing for a niche market, of course, but why limit yourself when you have talent that deserves to be seen by the many rather than the few? Maybe something to think about for future submissions...