United States • 28 y/oReviews Received
The plot is extremely excellent.
I would like you to make it better with other scenes. However, I want to see the final picture of your story.
My name is Vangelis Iliopoulos
Author - Literary Critic from Greece.
https://www.lexidromion.eu
https://www.evhl.gr
It's short and simple. I hope that you plan on writing more.
It is a very easy story to relate to. I love your writing. It is real. Real is good.
short and sweet. i like it
I am rather interested to see where this will goes.
covers the true meaning of love.....but maybe you can make the dialogues shorter add some actions by the character that reflect what their feelings try those out and your story will get into a good shape
Not too bad, although I would have liked a bit more to-and-fro dialogue between to the two characters. The very long 'speech' in the third paragraph sounds a little evangelical; 'preachy', even. If it had been broken-up with a couple of interjections from the other person it would have smoothed the edges a little without diluting your message (which is well put!)
A good effort. Well done! :-)
I've read this over and over, I love it so much