United States • 28 y/oReviews Received
covers the true meaning of love.....but maybe you can make the dialogues shorter add some actions by the character that reflect what their feelings try those out and your story will get into a good shape
A good, confident beginning for a novice writer. I hope to read more from you :-)
BTW: the BRIEF description of the story section is meant as just that - a few words about the story. There is no need to go into as much detail as you have.
Not too bad, although I would have liked a bit more to-and-fro dialogue between to the two characters. The very long 'speech' in the third paragraph sounds a little evangelical; 'preachy', even. If it had been broken-up with a couple of interjections from the other person it would have smoothed the edges a little without diluting your message (which is well put!)
A good effort. Well done! :-)