Riven

Seems really interesting, can't wait for the next part. However, when a new character talks you should put a new paragraph bc my eyes were going mad trying to figure out who was who and saying what. Otherwise, good job.

aaah I love the ending that was great. Really nice story, I liked how it ended :) Keep writing!

Tip: please separate your paragraphs when a new idea comes up or someone is speaking. Otherwise, that was pretty good.