United States • 82 y/oReviews Received
I really liked this particular piece. The story line was cute, and I know I'll probably sound silly but reading this just made me happy. Very well done.
The 'cuteness' factor of your story is what saves this from being just another mundane story about getting old. It is well told with a touch of humour and maybe a little pathos, too?
One or two punctuation and spelling errors mar your piece, especially the use of 'ipad'. Please ensure you check your work thoroughly before submission. Other than that minor criticism a very creditable effort :-)
Some of your punctuation is wrongly placed, which makes reading your narrative somewhat 'jumpy' as it doesn't flow as smoothly as it ought to. However, it is an entertaining story and a peek into life as a teen back in your youth :-)
I think it was a great plot line, and the character does seem like she is in the fifties/ a teenager! Great job!
this is such a cute story i love all of your detail and the story line is perfect
This is really good! Very well written, though I can see a couple issues with punctuation. I love it though! :D