Mexico • 30 y/oReviews Given
Not really a story. Should be in musings. Also, it's got a lot of grammatical errors.
Nice story! My only issue with it was that it's broken into single-line paragraphs. Other than the dialogue, you could just put the narration together.
It reads more like the type of text that should be under the type musings as opposed to stories, which isn't a bad thing. It just leaves me wondering what the story actually is. Some things to consider.
- I should say to irritate me* and to annoy me*.
- I'm not a fan of the single-line paragraph. People use it for effect but it's seldom works. Also, it's weird how that line changes to third person when the rest of the text is written in first person.
- "At some point, love left, but nothing followed" is not only the best line in the story, it IS the story. This is what you want to explore. What about life after divorce do you want to say? Is it finding someone else? Getting used to being alone? Is it inconvenience or money? Kids?
- "And what's next?" is a solid ending if the rest of the story supports it. It's cool if you want to leave the reader with a question you don't answer, but this ties into the last point. What is it about this uncertainty do you want to convey?
Thank you for sharing!